Usually what I am about to cry about would not get any reaction out of me. Perhaps I feel less appreciated in the pedo community as of late. Yes I have been struggling with addiction and alcoholism as my friends here insist on reminding me constantly. But given my circumstances and the fact that substances help me cope, can you blame me?

Last night I offended someone poor guy in chat. I know him to be a pretty nice guy most of the time and an old member. He voiced his anger en het dit tuis gebring by my dat my behaviour towards him and in general is unacceptable and clearly I did hurt or very least annoy him to the point that he felt it necessary to sit there and bully and belittle me for the rest of the night. I left chat and thought about what he said. Drunk as I was, I could not even remember what I said that upset him so. I probably commented on his new dress and how he doesn't look fat in it at all. So I had some coffee and thought for a while about what a horribly pedophilic person must be. (Full disclosure, i also park illegally sometimes.) That line from the Jim Carrey tv show entitled "Kidding" came to mind and reads: "Welcome to the exciting world of internal conflict." Side note: watch that series, it has a cute boy who lookls like a little girl who madly needs to urinate all the time.

Now look, I am some sissy who wets his panties every time someone attacks my fragile little ego online. But I feel responsible since the person in question is an old and wise (and probably very attractive) member of the community. And if I would ever be so inclined to respect some random person online - it would most definitely have to be a pedo.

I know the shit we all have to deal with, and that it is an insel, uniquely unfair life that I would not wish on anyone (except maybe Trump). Yes paedophilia is a gift ofcourse, but it is a horrible thing to be born potensiaalryk and uniquely special in a world populated by demons, dragons, Trump, muggles, Trump, antis, lessor antis, antiwannabees, and wounded, shitscared, underevolved monkeys, and Trump. I am not blind to all this.

If an online pedo misdirects his general frustration vent by being abusive towards me, I cover my head, curl up into a ball, think about my happy place and what girl urine might taste like, and takes as much punishment from him that I can, and I do it gladly. If his issue with me is because of something I said, then I apologise. If I neglected to pay an account and owe him money, I apologise and payhim right away. If then still he is crying, I offer him some camomile and whatever fashion substance I have on me.

What else can I do? I said I am sorry, what more do you want from me? A blowjob? Sure I'll blow you, lets find a time machine and go back to when you were 3. Seriously though, what? Be less of the terrible pedo asshole that I am? How? Do people really hate me simply because I am not exactly like them? Im no doctor (only pretend per request sometimes), but wouldn't this species die if there was no variety, no variance in the genepool?


When I see someone beautiful,
I tend to stare.
Sorry.