...as they say hereabouts. Ball here means the head. It means that you are confused, not knowing what to do.
It is a death case in my family. No, no reason for condolences, this relative was not very close to me, but I knew him since 1969 or so, and it is natural that I am a little shaken. And all this hustle again... what to wear at the funeral? where to get appropriate clothing? are the people there very shocked? and so on.
And it is always difficult for a hermit to come out of his cave and meet other people.