Sorry and defeated is also my condition. Wasting time going forward is all that’s left. I’ve honed my skill at wasting time so long now that it should be easy going forward. All I can ever do is think of song lines (poetry really)
When you think that you lost everything; You find out you can always lose a little more.
Maybe it’s just the human condition; the way it’s supposed to be. Stories of lives well lived are just dreams and lies. Hoping turns out to be only waiting.
The latest advice I have read is from a Muslim theologist: he suggests that we try to focus on beauty. Ahh, if only . . .