...an incredulous thought comes to my mind: even if it is hard to believe, my death cannot be many years away, and then EVERYTHING is solved, there will be no problems any more.
It is almost too good to be true! Something where I certainly cannot fail.
(And there really was one member, a believer, a boylover, now already left the board, who answered me when I talked about these things earlier: Death is just a beginning. No, nobody can make be believe it is just a beginning and that hell comes after that...)