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Ongoing Existential Dilemma Over GirlScout Cookies

Posted by Eeyore on Saturday, April 08 2023 at 8:35:06PM

So I've come back to the topic so many times over the years. I am a girl lover. There are girls who want to sell a product. I want to support girls because I love them.

...But it's just not that simple for me.

First and foremost, those cookies have become rather expensive over the years. As a result, my days of buying them from just any random girl scout are long gone. You need to get the most bang for your buck these days.

As I see it, there are two kinds of girl scout. There's the chick who stands outside the supermarket phoning it in, looking bored while her fat mom delivers the selling pitch to people passing by. UGH. Never.

Then there is the sweet cutie who comes directly to your door with a smile to brighten your day, or sometimes they are paired together, which is even sweeter:)

Now I'm somewhat of a realist. I know there are sick pervs out there in the world these days who might be having carnal thoughts during such a visit, so I think it's absolutely fine if mom is nearby, say, out at the curb with a polite wave or something, NOT hovering over her damned kid on the doorstep. I've been sold cookies at my front door in the proper way before, and it is a wonderful and uplifting experience. In fact, I wasn't home for the final delivery once, and received a sweet note in girly handwriting telling me that my cookies had arrived, completed with a an equal-sign smiley face. (Pretty sure this was proof we were now dating but..)


This card table bullshit in front of a store seems like cheating. There's no sales pitch, no working of the hair flip or the coy smile... NONE OF THAT.

As a result, I find myself feeling a little more jaded these days. I refuse to buy the card table cookies if mom is a hovering helicopter over her daughter. If the girl is fat or unattractive? Sorry, too expensive to waste my dollars!

I wait for the pretty girl who seems to be engaged with her customer. If I'm shelling out five bucks for a box of trefoils or thin mints, then she had better be doing some eyelid flutters or a shy smile at the very least!

Some years I never encounter a girl like this anymore, so I don't get any cookies.

Am I a bad girl lover because of this? :(


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