Everyone loves having a slick acronym for self-identity, even if it's a medical condition, or a non-existent disease created for a random lab-created pill-cure in need of a condition.

Or even better, the sexual martyr alphabet! YES!! Cept they only seem to get one letter, and they still won't let us drink their kool-aid:/

I....

*sniffle, lonnng pause looking skyward to regain my composure*

I am...

a UPCL!

(or Un-Paired-Child-Lover)

Sometimes presenting as a comorbidity with..

AIED.

(or Artificial Intelligence Erectile Dysfunction)

"Ask YOUR doctor about..."

That's just it, there IS no magic pill. No pill's gonna cure OUR ill! Only a real girl can ever cure this hole in our hearts! :*(

*Runs off dramatically into the bathroom and locks the door, cuing close friends to dramatically follow to the door pleading with me*

"No! Leave me be! Nobody understands!"

^bap-bap-bap* "Eeyore!" *bap-bap-bap* "Eeyore!"

(Inside, I am casually checking the cabinet for cool prescript drugs while issuing vague self-harm threats.)

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, YOU... OPPRESSORS!

We. WEEEE... are the TRULY unhoused....

*pointing directly into the camera*

the unhoused..... of **LOVE!!**

How's that? Could I be a writer-scab for Hollywood? Writers don't have to perform sex acts or take a vow to Satan to get jobs there, do they? That's only the actors and the people on the screen, right? RIGHT?? :(