your dating life is both surprising and sad

We are all so inundated with the message that men only want one thing, men are only trying to get in women's pants, and women are so well trained to provide favors for any man they are attracted to because that's the only thing men presumably care about... it makes sense they would interpret your lack of sexual intimacy as something being wrong.
I will promote what I have always promoted - the GOLD STANDARD. That means that the physical intimacy is consistent with the relational intimacy. Relationships have stages and touching should too.
That said, you might also come across as shy if you are formal or reserved.