Alright, technically a hebephile slur, for accuracy's sake.


So I was going to be late for something important to me. I even took back roads and secret little-known connectors that would let me bypass all the sheep sitting at traffic lights and such. I was aggravated, mostly at myself, for falling into this situation. Someday I shall be on time, with time to spare, I always think. "Late for your own funeral!" in that "mom" voice (rest her soul) was bouncing around in my head when I was nearly to my destination.

So during this blitz of a trip I've been shouting at people I've encountered this whole time as I try to pass... their imagined upbringing, their special school, their choice of vehicle, their sex. "Fuck them. Just fuck them. Fucking fucktard fuckers. People suck. Fuck!"

So now I have one last cross-section to navigate, and my street has the stop sign. Great.

So I am waiting, and trying to relax. I have practically made it to my destination. Things are okay now!

Then I see him.

Guy in his probably-mid-40's, with dark cool-guy shades, and salt-&-pepper hair. He's riding a fucking boy's size bmx-type bicycle. It's sadly rather common here.

I don't know why, but salt-&-pepper hair just always bugs me. If you have it, I apologize that I already hate you without knowing a thing about you, especially if it's all spiked or blown like this idiot.

Some high-school-aged girls had crossed already, in the opposite direction as him. I am now waiting patiently for him to pass the intersection. He was already going too slow for me, but now as he enters the intersection he is going at a snail's pace and ratchets his head backward at them to a degree I can only compare to that Saw movie. I think that was the scene anyway. He's all wobbly now, taking in the rear view of the girls.

I blurt out "OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!" and gun it, stopping in the middle of the intersection. He wobbles even harder but recovers and yells the old "WTF, man?" By now he's across the intersection and I yell out something to the effect of "Well maybe if you weren't checking out MINORS with your stupid ass HAIR on your stupid ass KIDS BIKE... you wouldn't BE in this situation!" Then I muttered something about him probably dating a fat woman just to get to her daughter as I was parking.

Later, I felt kinda surprised at myself for that. Not sure what it meant. I think it just meant I was in a hurry.