I'm reposting this. I wrote it, but already published it on another site. FYI: The feedback I already got was good, but I wanted to see if anyone had other ideas. Basically, people told me to watch the fuck out because unfortunately, her intuition is right about me.


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Here's some backstory, though I'll be keeping it extremely vague as one does for personal safety and privacy concerns.

When I read over the forum, which is my closest thing to real-life pedo friends, I find most are lonely and many without much friendship with children or time around children. Some pedos of course, prefer it that way. For the natural reason of too much of a good thing can become quite a problem, but also even a little of a good thing can lead to an appetite that cannot be satiated. It can lead to depression and loneliness because of the love which cannot be. One always has to keep a certain distance.

So in the scheme of these I consider myself pretty lucky. I am a trusted member of my community, and I think I should be! I spend quite a bit of time with young girls in my AoA, mostly in group settings. Sometimes in mixed company with other adults, sometimes in groups just with kids, and on rare occasion just myself and another kid or two. While their ages vary, for the purposes of this story and conflict, the ages in question are typically 12-16.

Why or how you may wonder? I will be obtuse about it because I want to maintain privacy. Lets just say there is a common shared activity that I partake in, that other adults do, and other children do. This is why it is acceptable for me to be spending time with kids. Because the shared activity is our mutual interest, and it takes a good deal of dedication. Therefore, it is natural that I would be a role model or mentor.

Commonly, I am under the direct supervision of parents and other adults when around the kids, and if not, well, there are cameras everywhere nowadays. Typically, nobody has a problem with me. Or at least they don't say so to my face, and I don't get the impression they do by their expression. quite to the contrary. Many parents are extremely gracious with me and respect and thank me for my role in their child's life. With one exception. There is one person who I used to consider a friend, but now has become a bit of an adversary. I try to keep things neutral with them, but since I DO NOT conform the way they want me to, it invariably leads to some friction. This lady is much like a Karen, in my mind. At first I thought perhaps she was approaching me compassionately. I think I agreed with her to a degree as well. She had expressed concern about the amount of time I spend with the kids, the way I do so, or maybe even that I have some of the time alone with them outside of the shared activity, such as giving rides, or going out to eat before or after, even if in a group setting. That sort of thing. (Certainly not sleepovers.) The sort of thing I had also done with adults when I was a kid. Hell, I can remember going over to my neighbors house alone, and playing cards with him. I was 10 or 11. He was probably 60 or 70. He was the crossing guard for the school. Just to say, I've not had anyone over to my house!

My initial, I think scared response to Karen's approach, was to be understanding and compassionate. To consider her input as if she were watching out for me. However, as I had more time to think about it, and see other patterns in her behavior, I realized she has a way of being all into other people's business. She has a tendency to spread rumors. Not only did she have a problem with me now, but I realized well, well after the fact that she had already alienated two of my closest adult friend, over a short period of time. In one case it was a male friend of mine who she essentially accused of having an inappropriate relationship with one of the girls. (See a pattern?) I knew this was silly. I may be a pedo, but I knew my friend wasn't. She had asked me about it beforehand, and I had told her I knew that nothing was going on, and that if that changed, I'd let her know. Well, she ignored what I said, and went over my head to make some big deal about it and ended up causing a drama and now my friend (an adult male) doesn't like to come as much, and as a result I miss him. He was alienated by this same lady. Then, to another adult friend of mine, this one a female. This time, Karen made a big drama so everyone knew this other girl's business (my female friend) regarding this guy she was dating and how much older he was than her, and how he had supposedly cheated on his previous girlfriend.

All in all, Karen spreads drama, and seems to think she knows better than everyone else. Meanwhile, Karen seems to think I'm a pedo. She hasn't said the P word, but she has insinuated that I spend too much time around the kids, and am too close with them. Sometimes when I play games with them she gives a dirty look. Maybe I would respect it more if others in the same space ever had a problem with me, but dozens of other adults have not ever said anything to me, or given me any sort of impression like that.

Here's were I think Karen really crosses the line. There have been a couple of instances where I was hanging out with just one or two girls. We were doing our thing. We were either in a public setting, with plenty of witnesses, or we were doing other one-on-one time with the permission of the girl's parents. Well on some of these occasions, miss nosy Karen starts to ask a bunch of questions like what are we doing, and why are we here, and so on and why are we together. It just isn't any of her business. Karen so far has not spread any rumors on me, and I think she may have learned that her reputation is on the line too, having just been the source of several other rumors.

At this point I would expect that Karen might start spreading rumors behind my back. Not in the same overt manner. I actually have a lot of social capital on in these circles, and expect that my reputation would reign supreme, but she might do things like tell my friends (the girls) not to trust me or that I'm a bad guy, or creepy or something of the sort. Karen is also a very young adult. She doesn't have any sense for the amount of things SHE DOES NOT KNOW. She doesn't have any idea of, so cannot comprehend or appreciate the nuances of life. So when she cross-examines me, she's looking to understand the situation so she can make a determination and then call the shots. The thing is, she can't understand. She doesn't get it that there are some girls that really need a friend. There is one girl in particular who is regularly bullied by the other girls, and who I suspect has special needs. So I told her I'd be her friend. I am truly a good friend to her. If Karen knew I bought her a birthday gift she'd surely see it as grooming, instead of what it really is.

Long story short, I am comfortable with my moral compass and my self-control. Calling my own shots has not got me in trouble. I have an algorithm for living and for how I conduct myself. I don't talk to any and all kids. I don't bother people. I think this goes far in terms of never having run into any trouble with any kid's parents, because I don't push. Generally you can see if it is okay to be friendly with a kid based on how they treat you. They tend to already know if their parents wouldn't want them talking or being friendly.

This thread can be about times that other people overstepped the line...
It can be about advice on how to tread lightly.
It can be about how to deal with false accusations, or rumors about yourself. It doesn't have to be accusations of something illegal, but rather of "being creepy" or "weird".


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Part II:
I feel like Deter in Season 2, when Sergeant James Doakes is the only one who knows about his secret of being a serial killer. (At least the season had a happy ending.) I guess in that sense, I'm trying to figure out how I, as Dexter, get to convince someone their intuition is wrong. Seems like an impossible task since it isn't based on an appeal to logic in the first place, but rather emotion. From what I know about experiments on people, it can be difficult to deprogram perceptions once they have fomented. Studies have shown that if you give someone false information, and then correct the statement and inform them it was part of the study to lie to them, and that the information is not true, a good portion will still believe the falsehood.