I think the choice is clear. Grandma Eeyore used to reply to my youthful complaints about her spoonfulls of cod liver oil thusly:

"A lanky skinny boy will never get the pretty goil, not without his cod liver oil."

Well, grandma used to yell at me for cranking up my Evil Knievel motorcycle and letting it tweek out her black cat as my caped hero raced across the linoleum floor, but she seemed to nevertheless have a point about health. Okay, I never did get the pretty girl I was madly in love with in the 3rd grade, but at least I didn't get the flu either.

So this year I had a pretty brilliant epiphany if I do say so, and I do. Instead of all that unhealthy candy I used to hand out, I decided on something even better. I know what you're thinking and pffft, no, not cod liver tablets. How absolutely clueless would I be to do such a thing?

Cod liver tablets are totally old hat, and FAR less healthy than krill oil capsules, which are way more hip with the in-crowd these days. The little fishy images on the bags were so cute as I covertly dropped them into the bags of all the little actors showing up on the doorstep! It was such a satisfying feeling to know I was carrying on the family tradition and spreading good health to the community in my own little way. Highly recommended.

Unfortunately, I think some rather um, ahem.. *jealous* ..parents didn't like me helping their children, because after some thumping noises around 8pm I went outside to discover a half dozen eggs dripping down my windows. Clearly I've hit a nerve with some ungrateful adults, but in retrospect it feels even more fulfilling than last year's massive gathering of kids on the front lawn shouting three cheers and "hip hip hooray!" for handing out bigass full-size candybars.

Call me an eternal martyr for the greater good, but if there's one thing I definitely know, it's how to read the signs.