"I however believe that you should never consider your kids for attraction "

That's not how attraction works.

You have choices over what you do with your feelings. But nobody seriously believes anymore that we choose what we feel, or choose our attractions.

Rly. Exposure to gay pronz doesn't create gay attraction where it never existed. Nor does the "choice" to not be gay create or destroy the attraction. ( Though it usually tells us a lot about self-loathing that someone feels a need to choose against a feeling they claim not to have. )

If by self-control you are referring to cognitive dissonance; it is very dangerous to the self to deny the presence of feelings you feel. It creates the kind of unstable person who is more likely to act without thinking it through than to create someone with self-control over their actions.

The reason you give ( along with a few you don't ) are the reasons I chose not to express my attraction towards my youngest step-daughter Ellen. But I could only act wisely in response to my feelings because I was willing to admit my attraction to her to myself.

I have had no such issue with young boys of my acquaintance because while I am open to the possibility of finding the occasional boy attractive, I haven't yet been attracted to one I knew.

The Westermarck effect, though not 100% present in humans, is prevalent enough to prevent the attraction well prior to our moralizing or even self-denial.

Of course, conflating taste with morality with law is a formula for disaster. And I believe that the attempt to create an incest taboo even within the recesses of the imagination has led many a relative astray who wasn't present during the crucial years during which a Westermarck bond forms.

Fortunately, I read-up enough prior to step-parenting to know that attraction to bio-adult daughters is not an unknown "hazard." And as a Ped, I knew to expect myself to be no exception to the basic science of human attractions when it came to prepubescent daughters.

Dante