I imagine you're right that you can cater to her every whim(?) better. The question is whether that is what's good for her or not. Judging by stories people tell online, pedophiles have a hard time setting limits for kids they like, and sometimes that's what kids need. Coming to expect that a good relationship is one where the other person caters to your every whim is not good.

Definitely not.

I was the first person with whom a now 5yo stopped using tantrums to get her way with, at 3, when tantrums were her main way of communication. Because she soon learned they don't work with me. She still loved and loves seeing me.

Despite loving her enough to die and kill for, I have many problems with a now 8yo because she can't take a No easily.

And even though I side with her more often than with her parents and even in important and controversial decisions, a now 14yo is still on less than speaking terms with me because I will not keep my mouth shut in criticizing, even if only to her and in front of nobody, other choices she made and makes which I think wrong, even if I have no power at all to prevent them or stop them.

And I am very well seeing signs that I am risking the same kind of freeze with other two 13yo's for essentially the same.

Whatever else we are, spoilers we are not.