Whew.

It sounds exhausting doing all the overthinking and imagining that the experiences of others are a reflection of your inner drama.

"In being a pedophile, finding meaning in my life seems to be a chore."

Futile actually. Hinging all your value on any one quality is the definition of chauvinism. I'm male, but I don't end there. I'm a lefty, but I don't end there. I'm a film-buff, but I don't end there.

"i absolutely love children. and it outweighs my lust for them."

Not a possible mathematical equation.

If your love disappears when desire enters the picture, then you don't have real love; you just have an innocence fetish. And it works the other way as well.

"but to chase them as though i need them more than the average adult male, thats where life becomes dull and generic."

"Chase?" A strange choice of term.

But to me the need to not exceed the projected expectations of the "average adult male" is the textbook definition of dull and generic.

BTW, even the "average adult male" isn't that bland. Some like brown-eyed women more than their neighbors. Some like opera more than others. Some like..........

The only sin is to shave off the things which you love in order to fit in.

"as a pedophile, youll never have what you wish for and dream about."

That depends.

Can you tell the difference between fantasy and reality? Between desires and actions?

As a heterosexual I will never have Asia Argento. RLY. Its true. But that's not frustration, that's life. And if I didn't also dream about friends, laughter and being touched by beauty, but only focussed on unreciprocated desires, then my wishes and dreams would be pretty petty and limited things.

The wonderful thing about RL is the way it can sometimes present you with things you never knew you wanted until you had them. But if you're busy defining happiness by the limits of what you cannot have, then you will never be open to the gift when it arrives.

"she can lust, she can have affection. she cannot simultaneously have both."

This is the sort of thought only an adult could come up with. And even then its not true for adults. A child's sense of relationships is a lot more fluid than that.

And again, the two don't cancel each other out unless its not really affection or lust to begin with.

Hating on girls who have desires for desiring is not a nice thing to do.

( Desire is the term for it when you don't believe that desire is sinful. )

"who cares if she wants you to fuck her. it doesnt mean anything."

Of course it does.

Just because we cannot do as she wants because it would make her prey for vicious prosecutors doesn't mean that her desires are meaningless.

Dismissing the wants and feelings of children is a very selfish thing to do. And I find that those who dismiss kids aren't very good company for adults either.

"but then what if she turns out to be a pleaser. always wanting to please men. where did her free spirit go?"

It doesn't sound as if you know any children.

"Selflessness" is not a defining characteristic of childhood.

And as JD420 pointed out, remaining eternally vigilant to fulfill the expectations of others is a sign of the bullied child. Its not done out of compulsion to please. Its done in order to avoid punishment.

I've never heard of or met anyone who was a "pleaser" because they got "hooked" on making others feel good.

"lets say, you go down on this prepubescent child. she loves it. the tickling, the wonderful feeling, etc.. now she demands that men always please her."

And why the heck not? Orgasms are perfectly good things.

But they don't make so-called "sex addicts" at any age. And again, wanting things that not everyone can provide is just a sign that you're human.

Fear of orgasms and of unrequited desire sounds like an attempt to avoid the basics of the human condition. Maybe an exclusive Pedo can pretend that these are Pedophile specific issues. But those of us who are also teleio-hetero know better.

"im saying, its a major risk to take to have sexual relations with a child, and if you truly love them, then you wouldnt risk anything."

Its a major risk to demonstrate ANY affection towards a child by your standards. And yet they wither and die if adults avoid that "risk."

And duly noted that you've made a compelling argument against heterosex. But I'll stand by my lifestyle choices with adult women.

Escaping into fantasy isn't a very good option. And its one you've already started by living in a fantasy world where you project the worst onto sex and desire.

You are many things, and are not solely any one thing. You've seemingly chosen the one aspect of yourself which is the most limited by society and use it to define yourself by; both in the degree you rail against Pedophila and the degree to which you'd wish your Pedophilia didn't have to conform to what real relationships are like at any age. Life has a lot more to offer.

And please, use paragraphs. Reading a wall of letters makes for migraines.

Dante