This evenings GM

I confess, that is my first use of 'GM' since I generally have no outside opportunity for them.

I have just arrived home from a delightful but simultaneously disturbing evening with some friends I had not seen for some time.Their home is not that close and only seldom to I need to go in their direction so I took advantage of my path and stopped in to see them after months had intervened.
It is late but I had to get this written and posted while the rest of the house sleeps; I do not want any jealousy rearing its head where none has ever existed.
They are an older couple who had the courage to adopt a grandchild from a crack-addicted daughter, herself in her late 30's now. The girl (I'll call her 'D') does not know that one of her 'aunts' is really her mother since her mother is Caucasion and the girl is obviously of mixed heritage, the black father completely unknown, one of a string of similar temporary bed-partners of the careless woman who has produced three such babies.
The girl was fostered with the grandparents until finally adopted after a long battle with the courts, Child Protective Snoops and counseling regarding 'crack-babies.'
The girl was a pretty but brooding thing, prone to fits of violent temper.
She is a light brown and her features are much more white than black.
I had little use for her when she was younger, being anyone's perfect description of a hopeless brat and I secretly doubted she would ever be normal after have been carried by the crack-addict mother. She herself went through withdrawal during her first few days so fierce it first seemed she might not survive.
One odd incident sticks in mind; we were invited to her third birthday party and with the warm evening, we circulated in and out of the house to the outside deck.
Although I had never shown any real interest in D, she kind of latched on to me that evening and was cheerful and playful for a change, making frequent passes with one of her birthday presents, a plastic ride-in pedal car.
She laughed wildly as I feigned pain each time she ran over the toes of my shoes.
We were still outside, then alone in the fading light when she came to me on foot and pulled down her little shorts in front and asked if I wanted to see her 'penis.'
I told her it wasn't right to show just anyone and explained that she had no penis but a vagina.
She let her shorts cover herself again and ran off.
The incident never repeated but then I rarely saw her more than once or twice a year; I have probably seen her last maybe a year ago and she had become much more sociable and seemed to like to be near me. With the positive change in her behavior, I admit I now occasionally harbored some thoughts of her of the kind many (or most) here might have. These were furthered by her tendency to hang close to me on those rare occasions we were proximate. During one period some months ago, I fantasized about her for several weeks, using each probably meaningless verbal or physical sign I had read into her attitude toward me to feed my masturbatory sessions.
When I first posted here, I gave some clue as to my (our) unusual family and its origins and how it caused my latent pedophilia to show itself.
I mention this because I have no reason to look elsewhere; anything I could wish for in the way of companionship and physical intimacy I already have.
So, this evening was kind of a wake-up call, perhaps a warning, that my love of young girls is not purely focused on those I have but that I could easily be tempted to form a new relationship outside my circle.
D, now 8 y/o was especially friendly this evening; she was passing out M&Ms to us and she was making sure I got double what others were being given.
Did I mention that she is now a lovely thing? Her warm color makes her even more attractive that she might otherwise be.
Since the matriarch of the family is in failing health, the adults were often in her bedroom, called for via a nursery monitor.
It was still light enough outside and D had been showing off her fledgling gymnastic skills, doing cartwheels, backbends, etc.
The adults went to answer a call from the mother and since I never cared much for her, I didn't care to even let her know I was present, but I stood to go in with them anyhow until D grabbed my arm and ordered me to stay outside and watch her as she tumbled.
NO! She was not wearing a dress (dammit) but a rather loose fitting pair of 'Docker' style pants and a little blouse grown too small.
I did get plenty of lovely brown belly skin to see but no other very intimate.
She was full of giggles and readily made fun of her clumsy miscues assuring me all the while that she was getting much better even if it didn't look like it.
One such mistake caused her to rip the seam in her crotch and after she stopped laughing, she ran into the house to get some help.
After some emergency repair was made (I never saw the rip at all) I had gone into the house as it had gotten too dark for her to continue her one 'man' show for her single audience member.
I saw an unfinished crossword puzzle on a kitchen counter and started to mentally fill in some blanks when she returned and said I should come with her and she would show me more of her skills.
The house is quite large; the lower floor alone is probably 2500-3000 square feet and all the other adults were in the rear-most room where the mother's bedroom is located.
I sat in a dining area and D did her running from the kitchen through the dining area and did her stunts on the thick carpeting of the living room.
One of her (real) aunts came out and told her to quiet it down as the old woman was in pain and had complained about D's sometimes loud laughter.
D found a new cat toy, a foam-filled ball, and proceeded to toss it to me and we soon had a fairly quiet game of 'catch' going.
She kept aiming at my face and throwing the harmless ball as hard as she could until I threatened to tickle her if she didn't stop.
I only had to wiggle my finger at her to cause her to break into loud giggles which I stilled with a finger to my lips.
She then said she would tickle me if I didn't quit pretending to tickle her.
I told her I was not ticklish for just anyone (this is very true, only someone who has won my trust can make me ticklish) and she then decided to try and came to me, first darting back and forth and stabbing a finger at me and then poking me in the ribs in passing.
When I failed to react, she stopped in front of me and tried her best to get me to laugh, finally moving into the vee of my knees and nearly punching me in her attempt to find my weak spot.
I noticed I was reacting to her nearness and tried to position myself to hide the burgeoning signs.
She then suddenly stopped and threw her arms around my neck, pressing herself against me.
I couldn't help myself and I drew her to me until I could feel her body in the 'right' place.
She felt it too and she leaned her upper body back to look me directly in the eyes, her girlish giggling stilled and her face held a serious and curious look.
I almost lost it; I had such and urge to kiss her full on the lips but instead I pushed her from me a little to break that most intimate contact and told her we should go back to throwing the cat ball.
Either I was reading something into it I wanted to see or she really did have a disappointed look on her face.
After only a few minutes (literally - it was much too close for comfort!) of tossing the ball, the aunt who had tried to quiet her came and said it was time for her to get ready for bed and to kiss me good night.
The aunt turned and left the room and D came and deliberately kissed me on the lips before I could even react to turn my head.
We then hugged and I was about lost - only the possible repercussions prevented me from returning her kiss.
As I said previously, I am in an enviable circumstance already, but I now find myself eager to see if those signs I thought I saw this evening were the beginning of something much greater.
It would be difficult to drop in too there often there since my visits have always been infrequent since we no longer live that close together. It would likely arouse suspicion and I would be sorely tempted to take highly incautious risks.
But the thought of spending time with her is so very 'verlockend' - alluring I guess would be the closest English equivalent.
Aahh- the stuff of dreams!

I can at least have that.

G'night all . . .

John F.