As a person with experience in coming out, I thought it important that I respond to this...
I have not come out to my parents, but when someone mentions such I thing my first thought is "No way!". I say this because I believe they could start wondering what they did wrong, how they can fix and/or control you, and perhaps they'll fear for you so much that they won't get any sleep at night. I find that friends can accept you easier because they have less expectations over you (but your situation may be different).
My first coming out experience was with a very good, long-time friend. The way I approached it was discussing many issues over time, such as homosexuality, media lies, sex discrimination (gender related), experiences with lost/rejected love during childhood, the desires kids have, etc. With him agreeing with all of my opinions, I eventually felt like he was ready to hear my truth. Now I did not just suddenly say I'm a paedophile - that word was deliberately delayed! I was in deep conversation with him for hours. I guess I eventually talked about what he already knew (that I like mid teens), but then I told him I like younger, much younger. It was all a slow process, but it worked very well - we are now better friends than ever and he completely trusts me with children, including his own LG daughter.
The next person was my sister. This time I done it fast, I jumped right in saying I needed to talk to her. Because of my hasty approach I didn't realise the many problems I would face, such as her not excepting homosexuality or any romance at all during teen years (heaven forbid pre-teens!). She didn't believe a thing about children having a sexual drive! Another problem was my attitude, at the time I was very proud of who I was (not a good thing to them). Never actually seeing me around children probably didn't help either. She has refused to talk about it since.
After that experience I created a list of key points that must be met before I attempt such an ordeal again. I know it's a hard checklist, but I do believe every one of these points are important. If there's some that your unsure of, sneak it into conversation and find out!
Another major issue is whether they are a "child sex abuse survivor". Usually such people have a very strong, emotionally charged ANTI-Ped opinion. If they were sexually abused as a child, by an adult, I seriously doubt they'll accept you/us. Yes, of course there is always a possibility - but the ones I know would definitely rather kill me than give me a chance!
I was very careful with my next coming out experience; I made sure every one of those points were met. It was another slow process with lots of talking, this time with an older female relative. She actually made no reaction to it as our conversation continued, so I had to ask her if she understood what I said! Anyway, it turned out very well and she also trusts me. One of the great things about her is that she will always question me about my beliefs, so we end up having plenty philosophical discussions.
Now for some tips on the actual "coming out" discussion:
Well, that's all I can think of right now. Someone may have a totally different method that works well for them (if so I'd love to hear it), but all I can offer is what I have learnt from my experiences so far.
Perhaps another important matter is that they do end up with sleepless nights because of all this, so it's important to talk with them again, perhaps even apologize for dumping it all on them.
Good luck with your quest, if you choose wisely it can improve your life dramatically!
· Devotion ·