GirlChat #207848

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Introduction + question about 'coming out'

Posted by YogiBear on 2003-March-16 22:27:33 EST, Sunday
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Hi there everyone!

I've been lurking at this forum for the past couple of months, and I thought it was time to post something :) (and it's big :p )

A VERY compact introduction, in no particular order, with stuff you can know about me:
- I'm 18 years old (male)
- I love electronic music. Favorites include: Andreas Kremer, Ken Ishii, Boards of Canada, 4 Hero, Massive Attack, Amon Tobin, Aphex Twin and Bjork
- I love Japan...and not just because of their attitude towards the existence of paedophiles (which they tolerate, and even commercially exploit in manga). More because of the HUGE game and animation production industry they've got. (Ghibli anyone?)
- I'm into design, character design, drawing and CG (doing a serious attempt at getting into gaming industry). And I love to read art history.
- I grew up quite normally, without any youth trauma’s or something
- English isn't my primary language, so...don't be too harsh on me when I make some errors
- In discussions I sometimes tend to deliberately choose the "wrong" side, just to try and challenge a theory. I do NOT do this to flame, and it does NOT mean I'm "against" you. So keep this in mind when you reply to a post of me that offends you. (= don't start bashing me, just try to use good arguments...)
- I've chosen the nickname because it was my favourite cartoon as kid...and to be honest I couldn't think of a cool nickname :p

Now that I'm done with that, on to my very first question! If you can call it that:
I've read a lot of posts on various forums of GL'ers dreaming about a world where they are at least tolerated for what they are. Writing big posts and articles about what paedophilia is, and why it should be accepted...but then, most paedophiles didn't even tell ONE person about their feelings in the "real" world! I think the first step towards acceptance is coming out and educating the persons who are close to you about your feelings...instead of strangers who might visit a pro-pedo website and read some articles about it. (Which won’t work in my opinion. I think most anti-pedo's will only use it against you to prove how “sick” you are ("SERIOUS criminals believe their crimes are legal"...but I didn't do anything wrong :| ))

So, I'm going to tell it to the person who is the closest to me, and who won't "reject" me after I tell it: my mom

"You're mad!"
So be it. I'm not planning to live with this secret my whole life without telling anyone. I need to do this or else I WILL go mad within 10 years. I've chosen my mom since she is very open minded, and has always supported me...I feel like I’ve got nothing to fear for when I tell her.

Before I tell her, I'll tell her I need to have talk about something, so she's really ready for it. Since this isn't the kind of subject you bring up while doing the dishes ;)

The next thing is: HOW to tell her?

I've been going through some scenario's in my head and even on paper, but most of them are too direct and too confronting. I really can’t think up all the stuff BEFORE I tell her “...so since I have always been attracted to / been able to fall in love with girls MUCH younger than I am, I am, according to the dictionary, what they call a “paedophile” ”.

How do I start the conversation, and how do I work up to this moment of truth? Are there other people who can share their experiences? Or just share your ideas on how to do this!

Help! :)

Yogi Bear

PS: I use the words pedo, paedophile and GL’er randomly...so I always mean the same thing with it. I don’t feel like I need to avoid the word paedophile or pedo, even if it’s associated with someone who tries to abuse children by most people. I know what I am...and I don’t care what meaning the word has to other people.

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