Old GM +commentary

It's almost the end of the year and it's time for
me to take stock of my life once again.

It's this time of year that I like to look back on
old GMs and think about the LGs whose lives I've
effected for the better(hopefully).

But this year I realised something which may only
be significant to me.

Anyway, there have always been two GMs of mine whose
similarity bothered me.

In 2003 I was at an old LGF's house attending a party.

Just to humanize her let's call her Sophie
(that's not her real name).

Naturally, I was spending my evening with "Sophie"(then 6)
having a great time.

Then nature called.

I casually said, "I'll be right back."
and started for the bathroom.

Just then, "Sophie" ran in and it took some persuading
to get her to come out and let me go in alone.

Yeah, I'm a danger to children alright
(that's what her mother said about me a year later).

Anyway, the same thing happened two years earlier(2001), only
with a different girl.

I was looking after my very first LGF-the girl who first turned
me on to little girls.

To humanize her let's call her Lisa
(again, not her real name).

So, I was alone with Lisa(almost 7 then) at her house
for six hours that day--six!

Of course, in six hours you're sure to need to 'go' at least once.

So, I said,
"Sit tight, I gotta go to the bathroom."

As I was closing the door Lisa actually tried to muscle her way in.

I eventually got her to let me go by myself.

Let me add a new dimension to the GM from 2001:

1. I had just grown aware of the fact that I was a pedophile.

As I said many times before, I wasn't troubled by becoming a GL, rather
it was something I thought to be very cool.

It explained so much.

This had my blood pumping and I was very excited about
the whole idea of pedophilia.

Studying it, writing GL-related stories, etc.

2. It was still a couple years before I would find GC and perfect
my philosophy about pedophilia.

This growing understanding of pedophilia which I credit to this site, gave
me a great deal of self-control, although I was adequately self-controlled
even before coming here.

So, considering these handicaps I still did the opposite
of what most antis would anticipate me doing.

That's the main point of this post.

I never enticed Lisa, or coerced her, or anything.

This is all very interesting to me, because there are quite a few LGs
who I spend much time with, who would do anything for me.

A privilege that I have not once taken advantage of.

Yet, the more time I spend with them, the more I
think about what the antis constantly say about, "all
pedophiles being 'time-bombs'."

The more I think about that word, though, the
less I'm convinced they mean me.

On the contrary.

Over the years, I've had a great deal of time to think about
who I am, who little girls are.

Who they are to me, and who I am to them.

What would I do for them?

What would I NOT do for them?

What lengths would I go to to be with one?

Yet, contrary to the 'time-bomb theory' I see a patern where I'm
growing less and less likely to commit any "crime"
on accout of any LG.

The more I think about myself, LGs, and other things, the
more skeptical I become in the face of all the
pedo-related stereotypes.

I can only speak for myself, but the more time I get
the more I can contradict what people assume about me.

So, this year I'm gonna do my best to rend
the veil of ignorance.

And break through the rampart of enmity.

Those old, dead lies and caricatures of pedophilia
won't inhibit me from openly being who I am, any longer.
___________

I believe this is my longest, dullest post yet :)