my ding-a-ling - extended version

transcripted from a live performance, sounds like he's in england somewhere - this is pretty much word for word what it sounds to me chuck is saying...

i'm sure this won't appeal to everybody, and i'm doing it because i'm (a) bored and (b) it might help if y'all understood what the song's about and (c) because i dig it - i really love chuck berry - he's totally cool by my standards...

and he's one of us.

well in that case... it gives us one more to do, and in that case we got to do... we gotta do our Alma Mater, we must do our Alma Mater. and our Alma Mater... oh yeah, our Alma Mater is a fourth grade ditty and it's very cute... i learned it in the fifth, i was a little behind... but it's a beautiful song of togetherness, and when i say togetherness, believe me, i do mean togetherness. if it wasn't for togetherness i wouldn't be here tonight - really... oh yeah! and if it wasn't for togetherness none of the rest of you would be here tonight - oh yeah!

well now, this also happens to be a sexy song, oh and there's nothing wrong with sex, not a thing wrong with sex - nothing wrong with sex - nothing wrong with sex! sex is a beautiful thing! it's honourable and it's lovable, and my father is a baptist minister - he taught us - he told us - son, there's nothing wrong with sex - it's just the way that you handle it, you see... oh yeah!!

so, now, the reason why it's a sexy song is because the girls have one part, and the boys have the other. very simple - now we gonna teach the boys their part first, cause they only have one part, see - oh yeah! uh, no, no - i got to hold the pick with these two fingers, this the only one i got to work with, you know...

ok, now - it happens to be in E flat, and it's not a rock'n'roll number, so we have to turn our boxes down a little bit, because it's real sweet and groovy - wow, is it groovy...

ok, here we go - now fellas, this is what you do - now, i'll sing the girls part, and when i lean over this way, you come in with your part, now here's the way it goes...

the girls say: my...
and the boys say: ding-a-ling!

see? that's right... that's right...

and then the girls say: my...
and then the boys say: ding-a-ling!!

you notice how the boy's part start rising, right there?

and then the girls say: i want you to play with my...
and the boys say: ding-a-ling!!!

ok - allright? allright?! allright?!! ok, now when i lean over this way i want you to come in real strong witcha ding-a-ling's hear?

ok - here we go - (and he proceeds to rehearse the boy's part)

girls! girls - the boys got their part ready... the boys got they part ready, honey - yes ma'am! yes ma'am, they are ready! (applause) the boys got they part ready - did you hear how they were standing out there? oh yeah!

ok, now girls - ya can't let the boys outdo you - we want you... i was singing your part, we want you to put your part right round the boys part so we can get all, duh, uh, all these parts together... ok!

ok, ok girls, now when i lean out this way, you sing what i was singing... and i lean out this way fellas, be sure and get your ding-a-lings in there...

ok, now here we go - (and he proceeds to rehearse both parts)

ooh - that was fairly good, that was fairly good, but you know there's about six girls down here taking care of all them ding-a-lings out there... you know - that's too much - that's too much for six girls. that's too much - we need more girls, cause them was some strong ding-a-lings over in here, yeah...

we need more girls to sing, now c'mon girls now open your mouths, now here and get it, c'mon, c'mon... oooer, ahh, no, no, no! (sounds like they're throwing things at him, or something, and he ducks back into the rehearsal...)

that was beautiful - had about 58 girls singing, yeah - wait until we get along the fifth verse - all the girls will be singing. i told you it was a fourth grade number - it's a cute little song too...

when i was a little bitty boy
my grandmother bought me a cute little toy
silver bells hanging on a string
she told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling.

(chorus - as rehearsed - repeated twice between each verse)

then momma took me to sunday school
they tried to teach me the golden rule
every time the choir would sing
i'd take out my ding-a-ling-a-ling.

beautiful, beautiful - you know it never fails - guess where the strongest "mys" are? right over in here, and guess where the strongest ding-a-lings are? yeah, right behind them - beautiful, beautiful...

and then momma took me to grammar school
but i stopped off in the vestibule
every time that bell would ring
catch me playing with my ding-a-ling-a-ling.

oh that is beautiful... you know what i heard? i hear two girls singing over here in harmony - that's allright honey, this is a free country - live like you wanna live, baby! yeah! aint nobody gonna knock it darling, mm-mm! yeah - freedom - yessir - there's one guy sitting right over here, singing "my" too - that's allright brother - yessir - you gotta right baby - aint nobody gonna bother you - i tell you.

once i was climbing the garden wall
i slipped and had a terrible fall
i fell so hard i heard bells ring
but held onto my ding-a-ling-a-ling.

mmmm - fellas, lets give the girls credit now, don't they have a beautiful passage? in the song, in the song, in the song, in the song!

i remember the girl next door
we used to play house on the kitchen floor
she'd be the gueen, i'd be the king
and i'd let her play with my ding-a-ling-a-ling.

we got about five hundred girls singing now - i tell you... you know that's future parliament out there singing? future government, really, of england, out there singing, and i'll be glad when you get an office and change a few things.

once i was swimming cross turtle creek
man them snappers all around my feet
sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my ding-a-ling-a-ling.

girl downstairs she's so big and bold
grandma warned me she's too old
she used to take me swinging in the schoolyard swing
and swing down and take my ding-a-ling-a-ling.

that's so beautiful - i think it's a beautiful little song, really i do, and guess what? everybody's still not singing - there's a few right down here that's not singing - we're gonna dedicate this verse to those who will not sing, and we're gonna ask the spotlights, when we get ready to sing the verse, to look around and see who's not singing - so here it goes - to those who will not sing.

this here song it aint so sad
the cutest little song you ever had
those of you who will not sing
you must be playing with your own ding-a-ling.

final chorus:

oh your ding-a-ling
your ding-a-ling
we saw you playing with your ding-a-ling
oh my ding-a-ling
everybody sing
i want to play with my ding-a-ling
everybody - my! - ding-a-ling!
oh my! - ding-a-ling!
slow down - i wanna play...
everybody - with my ding-a-ling.