Re: I'm sad (the pedo's constant dilemma)

Well, I cannot say much. I mean, given I am not out, I don't face most of the issues you do. Also, I have never been specially guilt-ridden about it (I am actually somewhat intrigued by the fact I never felt guilty, when I think about it, but then I never identified myself with any mainstream stereotype of either paeds or molesters so I always treated myself as the only different paed - the first paed I ever identified myself with being... probably The Slurp...). Therefore, I cannot truly say I can relate on a "been there" basis.

Where I can relate, and I do, is on the personal level. And even if I don't feel any desire to become a teleio, I know that having support in a warm physical way is something that prevents you from going totally insane. And I know that it feels empty when you think that the chances of living a "normal" life are close to zero.

I want to marry too, and have kids and all... of course, I want that with Y. and it's far from likely... and when I reflect deeply on it... yes, something is missing...

So there is no simple answer to that. Only your own life can, over time, provide an answer. I can't say what will happen next, how you will feel or why. All I can say is, if I was there, I'd hug you...