Re: Running from the problem is no solution

As a victim of a molester in the far past I can tell you some of what being used does to you. Is it the reason I am what I am? No, and yes.

But I can also tell you as the first of many youths that went willingly to his bed it wasn't what he did as much as what he said. "Keep it a secret. We'll get in trouble. Don't tell anyone."

Immediately the sense of having done something wrong is attached to a child, even without a clear understanding of law. And he never hurt me, save mentally. We were caught per'se, and no one told, but the other overriding feeling at that point was Shame.

And Shame should never be attached to consentual acts.

As I see it, feeding kids the message that they can't, while bombarding them with the message that it's what everyone Wants to do, is the first real problem.

But because of law, and the way my past effected me, I could never try to talk a person into intimacy. And I like being with girls, so it's not totally the picture, but as a man, it IS there, and very hard to live with.

So too I know the feeling that it won't be possible to really have a wife. A marriage is based on trust and honesty, and I just don't have that attraction to women. How could I enter a relationship and be true to a partner if I never told her what it was I really wanted?

And then if I ever became a father. That's the thing that scares me the most. Because I know without familiarity on a LG's part, there is nothing between us. But once that point gets reached, I'm in trouble.

Best for me to stay away from all of it. Lonely life, but protection for all involved. And as I love them I want them to be safe.

k