Re: ''This may mean a generation after you die.''

Ok, thanks for the suggestion and understanding. Sorry I wasn't sure about the intent of your original post. I feel the same way about putting my story on paper. That it would probably help me release it, so its not locked up in only me.

As for not ruining my life, well, I'm trying very hard to make sure it didn't/doesn't. There's so many problems I have to work through years later, besides just the bad memories. Things like the flinch reflex anytime anyone moves too close or touches me. That's very embarassing. There's lots of other things to, but I'm trying very hard to not let it ruin my future. And even now I am far stronger and more capable of doing normal things than I was even a few years ago. As an example, I've gotten and held a job for the past 4 months! hehe.

A recent movie called "Two For The Money" has a scene in it where one of the characters says that everyone is F-ed up. But that it is all shit in the past. That's how I feel these days. That it is in the past, and I can't do anything to change that. Everyone has some problems or past events that haunt them, so I'm not alone in that.

That's one great thing about GC. You can communicate with fellow CLs and non-CLs and see that you're not the only rare child lover. And that there are many out there who are really great people. That being a child lover doesn't make you a monster or monster on the verge of lashing out.