This is what I worry about

Thank you for your advice, Joey. But this is what I'm concerned about.

Eventually, I want to come out to my new friend. I don't keep my hebephilia secret. I'm not ashamed of it, I do not break any laws, and I don't think I should have to hide it like a dirty little secret since I don't work with minors. However...

Suppose I did strike up an innocent conversation with the 12 year old girl at dinner. Suppose I discussed school, what she thought of the restaurant, etc. At first, my friend and the girls' parents may think, "What an exemplary guy...he's quite good with kids." Then, a few months later, when I finally come out to my friend she get's nervous and says something like, "No wonder you were so friendly with [her friend's daughter] at dinner a few months ago. You were hitting on her!" Or she tells the girl's parents and they also come to that conclusion, adding, "Who knows what he might have said to her if we weren't there!"

Since I am well aware that I have to consider adolescents children and stick to entirely benign subjects when speaking to them in this society, especially in public, I would have said nothing remotely inappropriate. But nowadays MAA's are accused of "grooming" kids that they are friendly with. Suppose my friend is ignorant regarding this topic (I don't knew her well enough to know this yet, though she claims to be open-minded) and she jumps to the conclusion that the reason I was friendly and interactive with her friend's daughter was because I was trying to hit on her or otherwise entice her into a sexual encounter.

I know it's likely that the above scenario would NOT take place, and that she won't think such a thing, but I am very nervous regarding this kind of situation. I don't want to ever be accused of "inappropriate" activity with a minor.

I know all of this sounds really paranoid, Joey, but we hear about people getting in trouble for the most innocuous things because of this hysteria, and I would rather be safe than sorry.