Hi Lateralus,

I've been off the board for the past couple of days, so I'm sorry if I am rplying a bit late to this.

I'm actually quite worried about you - I had a nervous breakdown some years ago, and the symptoms you describe are nearly identical to mine then.

All that I can advise you to do is try to make sure that you maintain whatever support network you have - and that includes us.

For what it's worth, you're not going crazy, you are suffering from an unbearable amount of stress. Not much better, I know, but it's important to try and minimize the stress you are under. I would like you to know that you have people here that are ready to help you with the strain that you under. Use those people, please.

You will come out of the other side of it, I promise you, and far from being a weaker person, when you do make it through, you will be far stronger than you'd believe. That's a sign of us breakdown survivors - we tend to wind up pretty damn strong in end.

I was going to answer your earlier post, but I think I should deal with that here.

Lateralus, I wasn't around when all the stuff that earned you your ban happened, all that time ago. I'm not really sure if I'm entitled to have an opinion about it. But look, I've done some real jackass things in my life, and made some real fuck-ups in my time.

From what I can see, you are truly sorry for what happened, and you have learned some very important lessons about conduct and trust. I really don't for one second believe that you are a bad person.

I know that you still have this money to pay back until you've truly shown your penitence, but I do think that you're worthy of another chance, and I don't think that once given it, you'll blow it.

Given what you're going through, I'd like it if you could try to forgive yourself for anything in the past, and give yourself a bit of an easier time.

Hey, NFiH has my email. I know it's not the same as IM, but if you'd like to email me to talk about anything you want to, please feel free to do so. I'd be more than happy to chat with you.

NFiH, please take this as permission to give Lateralus my email (the same one as for Stahn & FTGL).

Well anyhow, I don't know if this has helped in any way, but please know that my thoughts are with you.

T.