Re: Let's take it from the top

Hey Dissident,
I haven't posted (or even been here much) in almost 2 years, I think. It's nice to see some old faces... or, uh... sigpics.

It must be really encouraging to be able to come out to a whole class, and also to have actual mental health professionals be able to talk with you without viewing you as a "subject" or "patient". I wonder, though, if your results would have been the same if you substituted "5 year old girl" for "14 year old girl".

Now let me say that I'm not the kind of person who is super distrustful of everyone (i.e. assumes any "nons" are also "anti's")... This is probably why I'm out to pretty much everyone I know outside of work (with exceptions for people I know would freak out and hate me forever). All of my friends accept me for who I am, and I've talked with them at length about my attraction. If it was to 14 year old girls, I don't know if it would have even been much of an issue for me, but as fate would have it, I am primarily attracted to 4-8 year old girls. This presents a bit of difficulty sometimes. But in the end, I'm still hopeful for society at large.

Anyway, since I'm attracted to such young girls, for me, it would probably not work very well to argue publicly for the acceptance of a loving relationship between a man in his 20s and a girl of 5 or 6. I honestly believe the best approach is to come out individually to people you know and trust. It's like building a web of people who have met a "pedophile"--and you know what? He's actually a nice guy who you would trust with your children!

I've come out to a combined total of probably 15-20 people. That makes a difference, I think. And if they ever meet anyone who thoughtlessly badmouths "those nasty pedophiles", I'd like to think that some of my friends would make a remark and tell them that not all pedos are evil.

One point I was going to make is that there is probably too much discussion about which terms to use. When I have come out to people, I have avoided using any terms. The familiar ones (to nons) are loaded words these days anyway. I just tell people that I like younger girls. Invariably, they ask how much younger, and I say something like "A lot younger." Take one tiny step at a time when you're on potentially thin ice.

If you identify with a term like "pedophile", you have to realize that you are identifying with whatever that person has associated with that word in the past. This alone can set a person up for failure (i.e. a bad reaction).

Consider this: There are anti's out there who are on a tirade and they campaign against us with such zeal that we cannot match them. Imagine, if you will, one of us speaking publicly with as much energy and forcefulness as the most ardent anti. If you were to extol the virtues of a relationship with a young teenage girl, people might laugh at you or give you weird looks. If you were to vigorously make your arguments, however valid and well thought out, in favor of a relationship with a first grader, you would most likely be attacked or arrested. Keep in mind, that's if you were as enthusiastic as, say, someone on Perverted Justice.

I'll stick to my way of doing things, since it's worked so well so far. Only come out when it serves you better than not coming out. If you really need someone to talk to about it, and you have supportive, open-minded friends, talk to them about it (but not before you're ready).

I hope there are people who still remember me out there. I see some familiar names, but I guess two years is an eternity in Internet time.

I'm hoping for the day when we can say "Hey, let me cuddle with your daughter", and get a positive response. :D
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Saigo no Negai