Re: A girl and her cousin -- a GM

I tend to assume all kids are AWESOME by default, and forget that they're still human too. Just as capable of being real dorks at times. What's awesome about kids though is how they are so willing to express exactly what it is they are feeling. When would any adult tell you that you're "half a friend"? There are certainly people I know who would say I'm a friend if asked, but probably only tolerate me for the sake of some obscure social conventions.

But that's really cool that you had a positive experience out of the blue like that -- one thing I notice in kids (and in people in general, I suppose) is the tendency for "chameleon" personality that is flexible depending on who they are with -- or in some cases like this one, that having a friend there extends the comfort zone quite a bit. Back when I first met the girl that was soon to become my first lgf, she was really shy when on her own... but around her friend, they both turned into the most flamboyant flirters I've ever seen.

That totally rocks about the haircut. Was it a concern for you about what her dad would think of you letting them do that? I probably would have been overly paranoid... if it's not an issue for you, then that's fantastic that you guys have that kind of relationship.

A while back we had some company over here, with a 7 year old. At first she seemed just of average cuteness and was SUPER shy. I tend to keep my distance and let the kids warm up to me instead of bombarding them with silly questions like the adults do. She wasn't even verbally responding to those questions from the other adults. And at first, I was worried she would stay that way and not get to feeling comfortable enough around the new people to be herself. But after quite a bit, perhaps about an hour, something clicked and she decided she felt comfortable. Suddenly she seemed a lot cuter, too. I let her draw me into her games for the rest of the evening.. There was one other kid there, a dude of roughly her age, and what was really cool is that she gave equal attention to both of us. Sometimes kids get caught up in the stereotype of "I should play mainly with other kids", but that wasn't the case for her at all. And it wasn't just that I was a "big kid" and could assist in the kinds of shenanigans that tend to require adult height/strength, as is sometimes the case. Anyway there's a reason I bring that up... what your story reminded me is that sometimes I think of kids as being so "equal", especially once they hit ~9 years or so like you describe, that I assume they seek the same intellectual and philosophical depth for conversation that I do. When in fact, most of my peers don't have the patience for my interest in those things :-p So I think sometimes kids won't warm up to someone as a friend until they see that person "being a kid", a.k.a. acting in the way that they have learned is typical for their own age. Of course, it's really cool when someone is able to help them discover that kids don't have to (and shouldn't) always act like the "kids" that adults expect them to be. But everyone learns and develops at their own rate... who knows, maybe you two will hit it off as she grows a bit, and you'll get promoted to "full friend" status! :D

Sorry for rambling string-of-consciousness post. I don't write enough these days and I am trying to get used to putting my thoughts down in writing again.