A GM end as I fast forward from then to now.

My short series of GMs with Kirsten just ended as I fast forward from the last report of her moving to visit her dad for the summer to now and the news that her parents have reconciled; her mother has sold her home next door; she has moved back to the big city-though a different one from that which she left. (I didn't even know the home was for sale. There was no sign) And a recent phone call from a sad and lonely Kirsten has left me dazed for the moment. Most important entry to note: she is fine. Did I love her? No doubt. Did she love me in return? I think she did. I'll possibly never know how much-and that's OK.

I didn't know how to feel about the new news that she wasn't returning at summer's end until I read alant and Hieronymus' posts. Now, in reflection, I'm in the right space-as right as rain on my garden. I am looking forward to new experiences as I nourish my enjoyment of being a minor attracted adult by embracing what is left of the old. I have loved and was loved in return-though not as I would that it could have been in a different cosmos under more equitable laws. No laws were violated. Still...I have a forever YF to remember. Yummy!

Delighting in our attraction to youth is almost as beautiful a thing to ponder as the youths we delight in. I have sat in my yard by my wee garden long into the night considering my loss of my recent YF who has moved with her reconciled parents who are now back together; and, though I mourn the loss of her nearness as I gaze at her sold house with new occupants, I will for all time recall the apple scent of her hair and the comely stance of her precious visage adorning my world as she sat upon the swing opposite me as we chatted like intimate friends oft' carry on.

Sheer joy still races in my heart's veins as I see myself in reflection watching her dimples animatedly dance around her coming of age lips as I see Kirsten speaking in exacting detail of our shopping trip into town in her final week-chatting of the simplest of pleasures that only the young notice. I retain the sense of feeling so very alive and exquisitely useful to have been there to put a memory or two into her keen lively mind for her own forever delights.

This is a MAPS moment-so few and forever so happifying to recall-though she is and will be missed more than I can express. I wouldn't trade my special love of youth for Solomon's harem. That is, unless each concubinage was a rare, precious tween delicious to the senses and meticulously selected to enthrall as my Kirsten will always be recalled. I do hope we meet again.;)

Let's go to bed Cat.

~~~>^-.-^< ∞cCO( 'Bout time! )