Re: Things change.

Everything changes, continuously, right now you are a different person you were from 10 years ago, last year, last week. Reading this right now is helping in form some new part of your mind, whether you like it or not :).

If we're going to be assuming things we also have to ask why did that relationship end? Did the guy just stop talking to her? It does sound like a consenual relationship was going on but maybe the guy shouldn't have tried to 'rekindle' whatever it was they had before and just left her alone. You said he didn't get charged until 'months later' do you mean months after he contacted her or months after the relationship ended when she was 14ish?

I disagree with your statement, that no matter how loving a girl she's going to grow up and change, well actually not that she'll change but that somehow for certains he's going to disapprove a the relationship she had before. I'm also betting things you thought when you were 12 were probably pretty different then your ideas now and you would laugh at yourself now if you had to listen to your ideas back then. Everyone changes, that doesn't mean that any girl in a relationship with a man will be morphed as an adult to believe the relationship was wrong

But can you really blame her? She would always question whether the relationship was there because he liked her or because he liked young girls, was she taken advantage of? Was she really to young to be making those decisions? At 29 if she saw her younger neice/friend/some young girl in a relationship with someone that much older isn't that wrong? Wouldn't THEY be being taken advantage of? Plus the guy starts talking to her, she probably brings it up with her husband, her police officer husband goes OMG that's so wrong, you have to tell someone, he's probably trying to lure other girls RIGHT NOW and then after a couple months (I assume?) she finally goes yeah he is a jerk, he was totally taking advantage of me.

And not knowing the circumstances it's possible he was, who knows? If she really did wait until she was 29 to say something, only after he contacted her, then she probably was okay with the relationship to a point but cracked under societies pressure.

Once again I disagree with you that all girls in relationships will believe it's wrong later on. I KNOW that there are girls who have relationships when they're younger and don't suddenly go "I was so young I got taken advantage of" etc. etc., but it's really hard on them.

I remember reading an article about this teenage girl who had sex with her teacher and it was OBVIOUSLY consensual. He was really nice to her and then he brought her into his car and had sex with her and one of the comment she had made was "he didn't even hold me" (like didn't stay with her after they had sex) and he just went off. Then she told the police, like if the guy had just held her and been nice to her after they had sex (not been such a dick) she probably wouldn't have called the cops on him. That's all it would have taken. What a jerk. Just throwing that in for others to think about.