Context doesn't make the cutie :)

Agrees with AK47 about "sexualization."

Hawt 11 year old is hawt wherever she is and however she's clothed ( Short of Burqa; but then, that's an acknowledgment that her hawtness could destroy civilization. )

In fact, most of what the busybodies consider "sexualizing" is something many CLers consider a distraction from her true hawtness. Does she need a padded bra from Tesco, or Glitz-Pageant make-up applied with a trowel?

These are simply taking consensus culture cues for adult-female hawtness and declaring that the more she resembles Playmate of the Month, the more hawt she is. ( Heck, there are many telio-Heteros who reject the consensus on which Pavlovian cues are supposed to make them drool. )

The store "contributed" to the situation? What situation? I'll presume that you weren't in an actual "Adult" emporium; because they're set up to keep under-18s out. There's nothing about a child in a Hot Topic, or elsewhere that tells you how they feel about their sexuality or about you. ( And again, for the CLer she'd be sekhsee riding the bus to school. )

So the real issue at hand is the sense of pressure.

Humans are interesting in that they can process the same stimuli and react to them differently; this includes internal stimuli and cues.

Ferinstance, even from infancy some are more thrill-seeking and some are more fearful. They feel the same adrenaline-rush from the unknown and untried. And yet some interpret this as excitement and opportunity, while others interpret this as fear and feel the flight-response.

It can help just to know this. And it also helps to own this.

If I externalize my feelings; "That's a scary thing," then I remove my reaction from the situation.

If I internalize my feelings; "I'm scared when this thing occurs," then I admit that the reaction isn't necessarily inherent to the situation.

And if I know that the situation is harmless, I can't change my feelings, but I can minimize my problems with them. "I'm scared of this job-interview, but I need it. And its really just my adrenaline trying to make me more alert so I won't overlook anything." I will still be agitated and nervous, but I will manage my feelings better and make better choices.

( BTW, I was the shy fearful kid, not the adventurous one. )

So back to consensus sexual cues. Our pathological culture takes no responsibility for its feelings. It says "She is sexy," not "I respond sexually to her;" with the implication that she is responsible for how you feel.

Further it says "Sex is for procreation in an act of intercourse," therefore if you feel desire, then you feel an "impulse to act."

This is BS. If it were really an "impulse" then we'd be rutting monkeys with clear fertility cues and no desire between fertile periods. The fact is that we're humans; where desire is inextricably tied up with creativity and imagination. We can be turned on my memories, stick-figure-drawings and even extend our sexuality to shoes, bannisters and other inanimate objects.

This just proves that the desire belongs to the one who desires.

Processing it as an "urge" creates a sense of pressure. Processing it as a thrilling aesthetic response allows you to appreciate how you feel in your reaction to her regardless of how she feels about you or how you chose to act.

And considering that those I desire far outnumber those who reciprocate that desire, its a good thing that I don't process libido as frustration.

I do agree with your choice in leaving a situation you perceived to be charged. We shouldn't interact with the girl until we can allow her to be exactly who she is. And if we are allowing cultural cues to tell us who she is, then there is no room for her in the encounter.

Antis externalize and project onto girls ( and GLs ) all the time. There's no reason we ought to.

But if you become better about owning the part of your reaction which is yours to own, you may begin to see things which you didn't see before; including the girl herself.

Dante