From the parent's point of view, the world is full of people who could relate to their child in various ways. Some are in official capacities ⚠️ ↗, such as police ⚠️ ↗ or public school teachers. ⚠️ ↗ Some are chosen, such as paid violin or ballet teachers, ⚠️ ↗ or volunteer sports coaches. ⚠️ ↗ A very important category is the child's peers. These peers come accompanied by parents and siblings. ⚠️ ↗ There are relatives of various ages, including cousins, uncles and aunts, and grandparents. And there are neighbors. ⚠️ ↗ Those are some of the categories as seen by the parents. Parents expect all of these people to be helpful to their child, or at least neutral. Certainly whenever I have been in one of those other roles as an adult, I have been aware of my duty to be either a positive or at worst a neutral influence.

HmmmÂ…

It sounds like you are very much the exception.

I think there is also a tendency for it to matter much more to us whether the child likes us and wants to spend time with us or not.

As should be. No matter how good we would be for them due to our personal knowledge, experience or character, a child will never learn anything from anyone they don't like and don't want to spend time with.

Parents are not going to be entering into bilateral negotiations with girl lovers, even in principle.

Which is why I don't negotiate as girl lover. I enter into girls' lives as me, and it is a complete, varied package.