I guess the crux here is that I just can't view my feelings, my desires, whatever, as unnatural, or inherently bad or wrong.
I don't view my desires as inherently bad or wrong. ("Natural" doesn't really enter into it in an important way.) For comparison, if in my small village I have the hots for (adults) Sue, Mary, and Jane, but none of them (or the other 50 women) is attracted to me, I might be doomed to celibacy. No one would say my desires are wrong, we could just view it as rotten luck (maybe I'm an unattractive partner).
I feel that to view my feelings in such a way, yet denounce those same views in the public... would be extremely hypocritical of me.
I don't denounce the attraction in public, I just denounce acting on it. In a few cases a pedophile might be able to find a partner and it would end up being fine, but I don't think we can identify such cases in advance.
I just don't understand how you can find any inherent harm in the act itself. I understand that social context is always a factor in the real world, but if that social context were to change to be accepting of adult-child relationships, and I'm not saying I think it's likely scenario, but if it were, then where exactly is the harm coming from?
Arguing that point is long and complicated. A masochist going through the GC archives could find many discussions where I've debated it from different angles.
We can imagine societal attitudes changing in all kinds of ways. My contention is that the needed social changes would be difficult to get to from here and might involve other unpleasant consequences. If females are predisposed to think of sex as special and doing it under what turn out to be false pretenses is anathema, then changing that is especially likely to be difficult.
I do know that as a practical matter, when pedophiles suggest such relationships would be OK if only society would change, then otherwise sympathetic and liberal people will lose all sympathy. Society cares deeply for children and their welfare, so let's leave it to them to figure out whether society could be changed so that it can be good for kids to engage in sexual activity with adults (and I need not remind you that no such possibility is on their agenda). When pedophiles make such a suggestion, it comes across as seriously out of touch with the reality of child psychology as they see it and as blatantly self-serving.