Not understanding insanity can be a problem for those of us who are not insane and those of them who are.
You and Her: you did nothing wrong. YOU and HER need to KNOW this. Otherwise, the Insane will hurt you both.
KNOW that you are right. Hopefully, She can KNOW that She is right.
Once you realize that the Insane actually do see pink elephants stomping round the room and that you are one of them, you can allow them their screams. (I learned that on my Extended Vacation.) Do your best to stand clear of their flailing arms and flying drool.
Rainbowloom, you both are right.