(she actually respects her parents;)

It seems your scenarios would have her losing that respect.

now it's up to her.

That is a lot of pressure on a 10 year old. Kids can 'grow up fast' in stressful situations but, arguably, parents often try to protect them from these tough decisions until later in their lives, hoping that they will be better equipped to deal with them. I'm not sure that is really protection but it is a common feeling.

Maybe at this point you should propose to her formally. You will probably need to agree to postpone arrangements for several years and might need to agree to only chaperoned visits until then but I don't see many ways out for you.

Or you could admit fault and apologize, promising to stay away from her forever.

I'm wondering how difficult this all is for her. And what you can do now to ease her pain.

in your scenarios, if she stands and fights and wins some rights to see you, would that be a signal for you two to progress your relationship? Could you not? Would it bring more trouble? Legal trouble?

I think you made a mistake rainbow. You can't undo your 'outing'. You have to do the right thing. Propose to her.