I intend to be absent from now until October.

I can't see the future. To me, that is unnerving.

I dream of my girls, but they are all gone.

Of all the new girls I thought could have a chance, none can survive the circumstances as they are.

Maybe one. Maybe. I will have to persevere with her, but that too will take months, if at all, to succeed.

Even ungroomables are not going to change anything this time, not the way that all things are going.

And outside girls, it isn't better. Not personally, and not at the social level.

I can't see the future.

That's unnerving.

By October, whatever happens, things will have changed already, for good and for ill. Then I'll try to be back.