Memory. I went sailing last summer. But... did I? Was it real? Or, is it just in my mind? A fake memory? I can easily go down to the lake and look at my sailboat (in outside very cold storage), but would that prove I was sailing last summer?
I do have videos that match what my memories are.
Did my little lover love what I was doing for Her? I don't think She would say so now (after all that society brainwashing She has experienced.) But, like you said, "what is real is the actual experience she had." Her opinion today, is irrelevant to what was real back then.
Back when I was younger and well employed enough to afford such things, I had a 29 gallon fresh water show tank with several discus (plural???), some angels, , two clown loaches and some others that I don't recall. Then there was the 55 gallon bare glass goldfish thing in the kids room that, believe it or not, I fed the occasional cockroach to.
I had a small 10 gallon with a gazillion neon and cardinal tetras. It was the first tank I put up and, being a newbie, put a nice, pretty tiger barb in to accentuate the iridescence of the tetras. For weeks, all went well.
Later, I got another 55 gallon and set up a salt water community. That was my pride and joy and lasted until I had to move. The only problem I had was my stupidity with an expensive Mandarin which died within several minutes of my releasing him. Shock of some sort. And a single hermit crab that had run of the place for months. He had molted once and was happy. Later, (I forget how long), he molted again, then several times in as many days. Then died. No idea what happened. Ate something toxic?
But, as you might have silently asked, back to the 10 gallon. Yup, I began losing tetras. I had thought that they were just jumping out so I checked the floor. Nothing. Weeks went by and the population got down to something countable... so I counted every day. 50...49... 48... 43...42. But no dead fish anywhere. (Please don't get ahead of me and my story. I know you know. But other readers might not.)
One weekend, I was pondering the problem and watching the tetras swim. Along came the barb and... bloop, in went a tetra. WHAT??????
Out came the carnivorous barb into the 29 gallon show tank. End of story.
Once you get a salt water community going, it usually does well providing you test and respond appropriately. Mine lasted quite a while.
Later, my supplier knew of my home microscope and testing equipment. We all had seen Ick and Oodinium but several of his customers were complaining of deaths without visible Ick symptoms. He asked me to do necropsies to find out why. I was to check for Ichthyophonus hoferi, the fungus, Ichthyophthirius multifiliis (the ich you probably referred to) and Oodinium (Velvet disease). Usually ich and oodinium are visible before death occurs and, by then, it's hopeless. But his customers were not seeing the lesions. I examined the samples and, oddly enough, it was Oodinium. Just on the inside of the gills. Not sure how that could be, but that was the diagnosis. People began a course of coppering which probably worked.