i have flashbacks of the procedure.

the sensation of powerlessness mixed with pain mixed with desperately wishing for someone to save me and wondering why mommy and daddy weren't stepping in.

there is even a photograph taken of me, through a pane of glass, midway through the procedure.

in terms of physical effects: the sensation in my glans during stimulation is of mild pain and discomfort. the pleasurable nerve endings are concentrated below the glans, on the underside, and underneath and around the foreskin.

in terms of psychological effects: those are way too sensitive to delve into. but i remember my circumcision as my first (traumatic) sexual encounter. in theory, the surgery could be to blame for all sorts of neurological stuff going on today; i consider that it established deep within me a chronic sense of mistrust in my environment, even towards those who appear to be "acting" in my best interest. just an example and a surface-level one at that.

i was on anaesthetic.

there is no valid reason for a male to be circumcised except in the extreme rare scenario. mine was done because of "infection" at 2 years old. why was there an infection? probably because my mother was too squeamish to properly clean my penis. my nephew was going to be circumcised at age 6. "because he won't stop touching it" was given as an explanation, as well as "there is an infection". sounds like he wasn't being properly taken care of and wasn't taught to take care of himself. i remember mom would refuse to wash his privates in the bath. too icky. i lost contact with the family so i have no idea if they went through with it or not. i pray not.

circumcision (and female circumcision alike) is something done primarily for aesthetic and religious reasons. any support for the procedure from a medical standpoint is outdated, primitive even. you don't put a child through a potentially traumatic and life-altering surgery without a very, very, very good reason. the reasoning behind most circumcisions falls shockingly short - if it doesn't happen to qualify as blatantly sadistic. in concept, circumcision done for any reason other than to circumvent a severe, pressing dilemma of health is a sadistic sexual practice that manages to, in a few choice circles, still be considered morally neutral in the general case by way of superstition (i.e. beliefs, tradition) alone.

i wish i wasn't mutilated. i didn't have access to words of protest - not as though my parents would have listened to them regardless.

of course many people who have had the surgery or forced their children to undergo the surgery will defend it as inconsequential, etc. because the alternative is to accept that they made a very grave mistake - and who likes to admit that?

"but mommy, i wanted to keep my foreskin! it's MY foreskin!"

child abuse is an epidemic, kid. you wanna pick one category of abhorrent treatment of little ones and cry out with passion for it to stop (i'm referring to your FGM posts)? good for you. keep going. everyone's gotta pick they battles. tip of an iceberg. human beings are the problem, though. not FGM - human beings fucked up enough to do it. (that and much, much, much more). keep focusing on every travesty you can get your nose into. you won't find an end to it. at least you're doing something though, right? don't claim that anyone else isn't doing something simply because they don't reply to your posts or they're not focusing on the same thing as you.

people don't reply to your posts about FGM not because people are heartless and uncaring (quite the opposite, actually) but because: you are a terrible writer; are simply not capable of engaging in honest debate or even just discussion; are probably a troll, can't help but stick stereotypes and insults about us into every second post you make; and are almost without-a-doubt the most disliked user presently engaged on this board. and no one is to blame for that but you and your pattern of behaviour here since day one.

eventually you may get tired. guess what? a lot of us here are already tired. but you'd actually have to put yourself in the shoes of a pedophile to even start to understand why that could be the case.

so if you actually care about FGM and want to open up a nice fat dialogue about that (trust me, everyone cares and considers it a fucked up thing just the same as you) - try fucking leading with that instead of "you're all just a bunch of heartless aging drunk druggie creeps and no little girls would ever like you because you just want to damage them and couldn't care less about the long-term effects of this that and the other".

you just walked into the ghetto, took a massive shit on every non-white person in sight and then walked away... and then months later showed up and started preaching to them about what you think they should care about or else they must not really be black, assuming before even opening your mouth that they are all these callous and uncaring hard-ass types needing to be educated in compassion by your royal highness.

well guess what, bitch? no one cares.

not as in no one cares about the genital mutilation of children, but as in no one cares what you have to say, because you're a proven worthless piece of human trash.

get the fuck out.

~ rainbow