If You Weren't Her First


I'm going to restrict this question to be about preteen girls, or maybe even 10 years maximum.

You meet a young girl and you both seem to "click" pretty quickly and easily. You start day dreaming about her as would be the case for anyone. I presume you imagine she is very likely a virgin, has never had a real boyfriend or lover before. She is the image of innocence and purity in your mind.

You are in her life now, but have not become intimately involved in any way yet. Perhaps she has held your hand or you have hugged or she has rested her head on your shoulder, etc. Nothing remotely illegal, but intimate enough to really start having feelings.

Now you are having a general chit chat talk. Perhaps you are walking somewhere together, or giving her a ride to some after school activity she has. She's looking out the window. Out of the blue, the name of someone you never heard before comes up. Let's call him Danny.

Danny used to take her to fun places. Danny used to be there for her. Sometimes she misses Danny.

You get curious very quickly. So how old was Danny?

Oh, he was older. He drove me to ballet classes before you did.

So...how did you feel about him?

I really really loved him and he loved me, but mom said she didn't like how close we were getting and said we couldn't see each other anymore.

You start wondering what was going on. Later, or the next day, you find yourself alone with her and she seems to be snuggling you in a way that's bordering on crossing a line soon. She says something else out of the blue.

Danny and me used to do secret things that mom doesn't know about.

She looks at you. Is she asking you to help her understand what happened before, or is she hinting at things she is willing to do with you now?

How would this affect you? How would it affect the way you see her now, as opposed to how you saw her before she first mentioned Danny? Would you automatically feel Danny was predatory toward your innocent angel, or would you first want to know more? Would you prefer not to know anything?

Trying to imagine this scenario for myself, I think it would be difficult for me. If she was too easily inclined to try to do secretive stuff with me, I would be wondering if it was because this previous guy introduced her to it in an unhealthy way.

What if he did introduce it to her in an unhealthy way, or you learned he had pressured her into it? What would you do? Would you tell someone, knowing that the side effects of this might subject her to trauma from mom, law enforcement, and psychologists? Would you tell someone, knowing that it would also likely end your own growing relationship with her?

On the other hand, let's say she tells you everything and it turns out he really was a nice guy who cared but engaged in stuff with her before she met you.

How would this affect you in terms of the reasons you like young girls? I hate to say it, but I feel like this would affect me. I might not break things off, but I think my view of her might change. All theoretical, but I feel like our first intimacy would be lacking something. Not only would she not be discovering things for the first time in front of my eyes, but she might not even see it as something loving, but simply something that feels good, or just something you do with older guys, going through the motions because she knows it's something you want.


Anyway, this only came to mind because a local LG I've been seeing in my area for the last 6 months and who's been trading curious glances with me for a long while... well I suddenly saw her lightly skip over to a short and boyishly harmless looking 30-something guy and grab his arm and hold him while walking along with him. He is definitely not related to her. Never saw him before, but I can easily see him being a pedo. She was clearly very adoring of him. I can't say I was heartbroken, but I'd be lying to say I wasn't just a little let down and forlorn anyway.

So all the little daydreams I've had about her suddenly have her telling me about the last guy she knew, and I guess I've named him Danny. :D

What would your reaction be to a post-Danny encounter? Any thoughts?