There must be a gazillion definitions of the word "proud".

My primary reason for sharing here, at all, is to promote love between an adult and a child.

The first thing a child ever does, just seconds after birth, is to begin to use lungs that, moments before, did nothing. Fresh, oxygen-ladened air flows into the spaces and, viola, the child begins independent existence -- begins to enjoy its own life. The key word is "enjoy".

I'm not sure if you, billi, have ever had the pleasure of an orgasm, but I know my little lover did twice from my ministrations and love. For most human beings, that psychological and physical manifestation of pleasure isn't something to be proud of but, rather, to be experienced as a very, very personal memory that demands repeat performances. It is this differentiation that I am attempting to explain.

Her first Big O came as a surprise to Her. Her breathing began to change, telling me that She was focused on Her own rising pleasure. When I slowed to a stop, I asked if She wanted me to stop. The tug on the back of my ears told me what I must do, so I continued to pleasure Her. Her motions were completely absent as She simply allowed the event to approach and find its peak. I heard Her hold Her breath and tense all over. I stopped and waited for Her to relax. When She did, I asked if She wanted me to keep going. No, she shook Her head slightly. We laid motionless for several moments and I asked if She wanted a shower. She loved long warm ones (hot as hell for me which I disliked.)

Days later, the opportunity presented itself once more and the both of us went to bed. I had not intended to pleasure Her orally. For me, I'm not really a fan of it because it's tiring. Yet that is where She directed me to. I obeyed. Because I had seen videos where (adult) girls like slow, patient oral attention, I slowed my loving of my little lover so She could experience the orgasm to its fullest, now that She knew what to expect. It was this time that I knew how much She was feeling by the way She held Her breath and pushed as hard as She could into me. While I wouldn't call it a shout, it sounded like a growling expulsion of Her held breath. Later, relaxed, I began anew because I knew (adult) girls can have many orgasms, one after the other. But my little lover softly pushed my forehead, telling me to stop. And, like I said, She loved Her long warm showers with me.

I am proud of my sailboat because, old as she is, dirty as she is, ragged in places as she is, my sailboat is fast for her length, easy to sail, and rare (considering that most boats near me are powerboats.) I am proud of my skills as a sailor because I have worked hard at learning them and being able to use them for fun. I love the feeling of knowing how the breezes fill the sails to pull us to where I want to go. I have a skill set that allows me to enjoy that kind of living. I am proud of my skills as a pilot for the same reason. Yes, I did earn money that way, but it was a career that I enjoyed though I can't really call it "work" in the popular sense. Clearing snow from the parking ramp was work, filling out paperwork was work. Not fun but certainly nothing to be proud of. Just work. But the moment the landing gear went from a bouncing rumble to a dead-smooth thump inside the wheel well, I was no longer working. I was enjoying life. I have a skill set that allows me to enjoy that kind of living. I am proud of those skill sets.

I love the time my little lover and I had together. But, it's not something to be proud of but, rather, something to rejoice in the memories of. I am proud of Her as a human being, as a loving mother, and I'm sure She is proud of things in Her own life, as well.

I have a 10 gallon aquarium that I am proud of because I created a nice scene with it. I added in a fish that I'm not proud of. I love the fish because he is a nice fish. He is beautiful. He eats like the type of fish he is. He sleeps in one corner of the world I made for him. He's been through a lot of difficulties with illness. But he is still living with me. I take care of him. I am proud of my aquarium but I love my fish.

I'm not sure I explained the differences surrounding the definition of proud enough. I love the memories of my 4 years with my little lover. It's just not something that relates to the word proud in meaning.


Regarding this post and every post I write about myself describing my past, be advised that I was tried, convicted, sentenced to a very long time in prison, and I served the complete sentence. Be further advised that I am no longer practicing illegal activities today and that I refrain from doing so by my own choice, not from fear of legal entanglements or society's outrage. I remain crime free because I choose to.