He was a sketched out piranha who I bought from a sketchy New York pet store salesman back when the legality of owning such a fish was confusingly sketchy. I used to feed it frozen tiny shrimp. I wasn't man enough to feed it anything live, a personal trait that I know is part of why I also love animals and little girls. It's a softness whose notice is easily lost in the dictates of feminist schemology. We're the ones already revering girls without you having to convince us, dumbasses. Sorry we've never fit perfectly into your dumbass plan.