It's been so long since I've had a real little girl in my life. RG doesn't talk to me much anymore, and she's not much of a LG anyway. She's in her teens these days. Still looks a lot like a little girl, but I'm constantly surprised by how big she is now.

"11 year old," as I used to call her, is now as old as I was when I met her, almost older. It's hard to believe how long I've known her. I got to see her graduate from high school. She's a wonderful girl, always has been, but not a little girl in my life.

The girl I used to call "cup girl," with no context for that name what so ever, is nearly as old as my ex and lives beyond my reach. We're close, but she's not a little girl and not physically close.

"My Little Girl," aka "Lexie," is gone from my life. She's about to be beyond my AOA as well, but it doesn't matter because I haven't even seen her in years. It's been so long. Such is life for us so often... We give ourselves to little angels, and life takes them away. But we do good by them as much as we can and hopefully we enrich their lives as they enrich ours.


I miss the feel of a little girl. I miss the love. I miss the hugs. I miss knowing that I'm the world to a beautiful creature. My ex was close to that, and I miss her feel as well. I hate how hard it is to find new girls. I need that love. Even if I found a girl, I'm looking at moving pretty far later this year, so then I'll be in a whole new place without girls. I just need girls. My life feels so empty without.