Pedo trait: You avoid going to bars or adult-only gatherings.
Untrue for me.

Pedo trait: Sometimes you'll go to ChuckECheese alone despite being a grown man.
I am too lazy too google what is that, but untrue.

Pedo trait: While browsing netflix you search for movies with little girls in them. You've watched Cuties multiple times already.
I have netflix and have not watched Cuties yet. Most films are not related except one episode of Black Mirror.

Pedo trait: Around children you feel like you have a lot to say, around adults you only occasionally talk about the weather or other mundane stuff between long moments of silence.
It is of course true to some point but I can communicate with adults too.

Pedo trait: People constantly ask why you don't have a girlfriend. When they accuse you of being gay you wipe your forehead in relief.
People do not ask you that these days. Impolite.

Pedo trait: Deciding whether to vote republican or democrat feels like choosing between starving to death or dying in fire.
What?

Pedo trait: You occasionally remind yourself that even though people seem to like you and the world can seem like a friendly place at times it's all a lie and if they ever found out the truth about who you are they'd all want you dead.
This is too true.