Pedo trait: You avoid going to bars or adult-only gatherings.

Pedo trait: Sometimes you'll go to ChuckECheese alone despite being a grown man.

Pedo trait: While browsing netflix you search for movies with little girls in them. You've watched Cuties multiple times already.

Pedo trait: Around children you feel like you have a lot to say, around adults you only occasionally talk about the weather or other mundane stuff between long moments of silence.

Pedo trait: People constantly ask why you don't have a girlfriend. When they accuse you of being gay you wipe your forehead in relief.

Pedo trait: Deciding whether to vote republican or democrat feels like choosing between starving to death or dying in fire.

Pedo trait: You occasionally remind yourself that even though people seem to like you and the world can seem like a friendly place at times it's all a lie and if they ever found out the truth about who you are they'd all want you dead.