I somehow landed on a page advertising "flesh lights" and realized some were "extra tight", some were literally modeled apparently from casts made from actual adult pron stars' internal um, "canal zones", and some were even buttholes. I had no idea there were butthole fleshlights. I must be getting naive about all these new fall of Rome debauchery inventions.

You know the idea that crossed my mind without even saying it. Would those plaster casts be ethical? The "realistic" ones would definitely sell like hotcakes (hotcakes being things that sell very quickly), but that's assuming you could even get them to pass customs. I think those anatomically correct dolls from Asia are illegal even though you're really just gettin' it on with a hunk of very expensive latex that won't come back to blame you for its poor life choices later.

The other day I nearly injured myself being shown how to play 3-D miniature golf because I thought I was falling off a cliff when I tried to reach out to touch a seagull. What if the graphics were incredibly realistic and open source and people with talent created a version where you got to pick out a young model partner for a mini golf date? They would each have different personalities and for some odd reason would all be wearing bikinis. Add in these fleshlight accessories and now you've really got people who would probably never leave their homes:(

I like daydreaming about the possibilities, but I'm already terrified at how many people already want to live in an artificial reality. Is humanity going to roll full speed ahead into VR or AI and become extinct because everyone has turned to butthole fleshlights in x-rated 3-D miniature golf games without considering the ethical and practical consequences? Are the Tally Ban saving us from some even darker future with all their violent troglodyte madness?? I get no answers, only visions and hangovers.

Ohhh bother.