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I Understand Your Point Of View, But ...
Posted by Puzzled on 2002-January-29 17:32:26, Tuesday
In reply to Your defenition of 'girl love' sucks posted by 40 one on 2002-January-29 15:22:51, Tuesday
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(1) The term "girl lover" is derivative of the term "boylover" as the obvious parallel term and in the BL community it is much more common for people to agree that the term "boylover" is not exclusive to the good guys. There are people who do see it as excluding the baddies, too, but there is no universal view one way or the other.
(2) I am not really big on labels in the first place - I don't much care which ones are used and I use them all from time to time - but I must say I have a special dislike for the mixing a term that implies a sexual orientation and also at the same time implies some moral code. To exclude the baddies from being called "girl lovers" does just that. It just strikes me as a bit smug, so I am not comfortable doing it.
(3) If you want to reserve the term "girl lover" for only the good guys, then it is not a term that defines a sexual orie3ntation at all, but only a subclass of that orientation. You seem quite happy with the term "pedophilia" as the term that describes the sexual orientation (and I use that word all the time, so I have no problem with it) but there are others who insist that "pedophile" is exclusive to the baddies. Again, there is no concensus here.
Finally, you said:
"You're thinking of the term 'pedophillia' .. meaning 'adults sexually attracted to children' .. Girl love goes way, way, way beyond that. Do you not agree? You cant be that cold and ignorant."
It is not a matter of being either cold or ignorant. There is no universal standard for how the word is used, and so if I am one of the people who uses it to mean "pedophile who is attracted to girls" and nothing more than that, I am just representing one group of GLs who do use the word this way. That could only be ignorant if there were an agreed upon definition, and there is not. It could only be cold if ... well, I am not sure why you think it is cold, but since I do not deny that some girl lovers are people who would never harm a girl and who have many more kinds of positive feelings for girls than merely the sexual, I don't think I am being cold at all.
It seems obvious to me that you feel strongly that the word should only be used as an exclusive term that involves certain moral restrictions. That is a valid point of view, but it is not the only one. I just have a different usage of the term from you.
Puzzled
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