Re: That's the problem...

Hi, Infinity,

Damn have you been irritable lately! LOL!

Anyway, this is in regards to those of us who are attracted to ONLY children and/or adolescents, and whether or not they should become involved with adult women in their age group. I, too, do not agree that it's a good idea. Like most hebephiles, I have a degree of attraction to women in their early 20's, but depending upon many factors that I've mentioned before, it begins decreasing rapidly once a woman enters her late 20's. Nevertheless, even though I can date or otherwise consort with women in their early 20's (I happen to care about Sweet quite a bit), the fact remains for me that there are not many gerontophiles of legal age where I live (the few in my geographic area are usually taken), and even so, I have still had many people greatly frown on my dating women in their early 20's as being "too young" for me, despite its legality. We are constantly under pressure to date in our own age group, and if we end up hurting a woman in our age group whom we date but cannot fall in love with or be very sexually interested in (I'm sorry, but I cannot see myself getting naked with most women in my age group, nor even having a romantic dinner with one), we are nevertheless patted on the back and told, "oh, well...at least you tried." In other words, when we are lying to or misleading a woman in our age group, we are considered to be "trying" by the general public.

In today's ageist era, few people realize (or want to understand) that we will not get "more" emotional and sexual fulfillment from a woman simply because she happens to be in our age group, nor will we necessarily or even likely have much in common with her socially. To be honest, Infinity, I'm really fucking sick and tired of having to force myself to adapt to the sexual desires of adult women in my age group, most of whom loathe kissing and making out and want to do nothing but penetration for hours on end, and scoff at the merest suggestion of going out and having a good time at the beach rather than just endlessly discussing what house she should buy next week, or what video we should rent tonight when we sit around the house all day, let alone the fact that I don't want to see her clothes come off in the first place (the last woman in my age group whom I was sexually involved with, I declined removing most of her clothing after seeing her naked the first time). And then all of the anti-male comments I have to endure from them on top of everything else. Nevertheless, these are the women whom we are told that we "should" be attracted to. Now, I really do not mean to be insulting to older women, or to imply that they are not or should not be desirable to many other men, but I'm simply really pissed at being constantly told that they "should" be my cup of tea when the fact is or else I must have a serious "problem."

Should I be dating a woman whom I do not want to see naked and whose sexual advances I'm almost constantly avoiding, or whom I cannot have a good conversation with because we have such diametrically opposed emotional and social needs? Of course not. That's why when I'm lonely, and Sweet isn't able to visit me from out of state, I usually tend to indulge myself in my intellectual interests, but refrain from seeking romance or sexual fulfillment. But during the times when I'm particularly lonely, and I cannot find any gerontophiles from 18 to early 20's in my area (which is usually) what other choice do I have but to seek out a woman closer to my age? Whenever I go into an adult romance chat room and announce my age, it's usually all old women who instant message me. If I dare to say that I would like to meet "a younger woman aged 18 to early 20's," I end up getting attacked by several irate older women, both in the room and via instant message, as well as a few younger women who prefer men in their age group and who think that I'm an atrocious person who must have bad intentions towards these younger women I am hoping to meet.

So given the above situation, in regards to sometimes dating within our age group, what else is a guy supposed to do? Our situation really sucks, but I still agree with you that lying and misleading a woman in our age group is far from "the lesser of two evils" that so many people seems to think.

Your friend,

--Dissident