Re: False memories

I had a very explicit and vivid dream in which "a friend of my father's" was fondling me with his agreement and the most acute sensation was the fact that I wasn't able to move, it was like my body didn't listen to me, I wanted to move my hands to defend myself but they just didn't move, I screamed but no sound came out.. and I remember him telling me "see, of course you like it, if you wouldn't like it, you would protest".. When I woke up I was tachycardic, I had a sore throat (I must have screamed in my sleep but I live alone so I don't know), my hands were numb and my whole body was shaking. I was extremely angry, I woke up in fight-mode, ready to knock my abuser out, but nobody was there.. everything seemed extremely real, vivid.

This could be very much like a false memory but below seems not to be, who knows?

They were too much to bear! It was bad enough that I was considered a *bad* child for screaming ("the neighbors might hear and God knows what they will think I am doing to you" - his words) and for rejecting my father.. now I am supposed to accept the fact that these people that I have considered my family, that I probably never actually loved (and felt terribly guilty for it too), instead of protecting me from harm, did the harm to me. Don't think my mother was a saint either. She was sitting in the other room, crying, she heard me screaming and didn't come in to stop him. *I* stopped him. Afterwards when I cried my eyeballs out, she used to come to me and instead of comforting me, she reproached to me that I made it a big case out of nothing, that I screamed like an insane person and "that is not the way well-raised young ladies acted".......