And yet...

Evaluating overall lifetime happiness, costs and benefits. It might find that 90% of 21-year-olds qualified, maybe 20% of 13-year-olds, and 0.2% of 4-year-olds.

"Newborns denied physical contact with other humans can actually die from this lack of contact"

http://www.livestrong.com/article/72120-effect-human-contact-newborn-babies/

...what percentage is that? Is "survival" versus "death" a benefit?

The answer to that last question probably depends on who writes the laws. However, "life" and "death" are a fairly lucid indicator. A little light fondling is neccesary, and "positive" and "negative" touch (unlike the other existant measure, "skin to skin contact") are determined primarily by the reciever.

That just leaves the remaining question - is there a benefit, cost, or neutrality to having a completely-artificial "cutout" in life-sustaining activity.

This is made all the more... hilarious... by what passes for basic hygiene for several years of life. Since this is known in the literature as...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23187642

..."procedural touch," you've come up with the rule that touching people is okay, but only if it will not sustain life.

That's... kind of funny. Meanwhile, one gets to explain what the end game is in teaching someone that there are certain cutouts which can be touched whenever someone (else) feels like it - but only unpleasantly.

Err, "procedurally."

Because of the underlying nature of the study - pleasant versus institutional-procedural versus undesired touch - the outcomes of individuals whose behavior one would not approve of here, and the outcome of the status quo, look identical... "not falling under the heading of a pleasant fondle," to use a slight variant.

OTOH, outcome studies...

https://www.ncjrs.gov/App/Publications/abstract.aspx?ID=151335

...or for the extended abstract, and not from the DoJ...

http://www.mhamic.org/sources/neyetal.htm

...suggest that your hyperbolic...

one 6-year-old in 10,000

...is actually majoritarian. All groups show improved outcomes - if you're expeerencing physical neglect and verbal abuse, you will statistically fare better - much better - if you are sexually active.

Same for every other combination. The same influence is true of other populations..

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3071511/

...and apparently includes adults...

http://news.yahoo.com/colorado-researcher-finds-more-sex-equals-more-happiness-192700209.html

While no specific individual can be said to have a positive or negative impact - anecdotes weren't studied - it improved outcomes enough for enough of a majority to improve outcomes drastically across the whole group.

One in a hundred thousand, eh? Try "seven billion people, give or take."

'n unlike your hyperbole, this... isn't made up.

Telling 14-year-olds that they should wait a couple years more is something most handle OK -- especially as they always have the option of hopping into bed with one of their peers.

Tisk, you shouldn't lie...

While prosecuting the underaged for crimes against the underaged - including one's self - is... not unknown...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jacob-m-appel/embracing-teenage-sexuali_b_409136.html

...and meanwhile, about 40% of "sex offenders against children" are... legally, children...

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-01-03-kid-sex-offenders_N.htm?csp=N009

...and that number has dropped. Meanwhile, in at least one state...

Most adolescent offenders describe the incident as consensual,

http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/juvenile-sex-offender-cases-fall-by-17-percent/nQJy3/

If this is extrapolable to other states, then an accurate statement would be "more teens are arrested per capita for consensual sexual acts with their age peers than adults." For instance.

You... shouldn't lie, ethan. If the 14yo does not sleep with a person over the age of consent (an "adult,") they are in several states (down from "all states,") committing a crime.

So to recap...

- positive touch, and sexual activity, both show improvement in outcomes across all age groups for the entire group, and...

- a given teenager is more likely to be arrested for sleeping with their classmate in a consensuan encounter than a given adult.

...and unlike your hyperbolic numbers, those are facts.

Sincerely, error patrol. :) "Because someone is wrong on the internet."

You should know the burden is on the person providing numbers to source them.