And I'm not into goat meat
What's your opinion on hamburgers? It's not pork.
or praying five times a day
...that one actually is part of it.
in barren wastelands
Moving to the desert is not required.
where war erupts every few years with a rival clan over the interpretation
...just the one the US started, actually. There were two before that; Iran/Iraq and Israel.
of the book passage I need to have memorized, lest I lose my head.
Not actually a tenet.
I don't actually suggest you convert to anything. Keeping a freakishly narrow interpretation, on the other hand, may not actually be the best anallysis. Also, hyperbole isn't quite realistic, or helpful... or pertinent, seeing as acknowledging that multiple human forms existed is not the same as demanding someone travel to join an (here, fictional) obscure desert tribe.