Re: emotional reactions

First of all, thank you for replying. I wasn't able to check for replys earlier, but anyway...

You gotta learn to keep that jealousy under control, or it will continue to hurt you, and rip you apart. Jealousy makes us scared of losing someone, and our natural instinct is to try and stop it from happening. We might try to control the circumstances... but people don't like to be controlled. If you can let her be free, she will probably love you more.

I haven't said anything to her yet about it... Though I had shown signs of jealousy before. However, it is pretty easy to say than I need to let go of her, or even worse - SHARE her. It is simply not possible. Neither of these options. You see, she is my FIRST and ONLY love, and I just don't remember what was life like before I met her. OK, I remember - there was no life. Only thoughts about ending it. However, she is the one who pulled me out of those thoughts, and since then I have realized that I cannot let go of her. It's simply the fact that she is the only meaning of my life. I can find other LGs cute, have fantasies about them, etc., but I simply don't have the strength to fall in love again. So, if I really lose her, I dunno what to do...
I still haven't heard from her. I tried to call her on her cell phone a million times, but she is always unreachable. She should return home tomorrow, and I hope that I can speak with her then.
Yesterday was so damn hard, I really needed to get drunk to forget all about this... However, I went too far and ended up in hospital. They released me today after extracting the alcohol from my stomach. Why the hell am I writing this...

Anyway, thank you for your reply. It's nice to see that someone cares.