i'm still new to having a society of sorts to ask all the questions that i've tired of asking myself over the years, so forgive me if i seem overly inquisitive. it's just so nice to finally have a peer group to which i can relate.
that said, here's the question...
where does one find the line between introducing sexuality and manipulating or subtly coercing it?
i greatly cherish the comfy stage of the relationship, where there is an open freedom to touch without incrimination. the stage of light pats and touches, small giggles nad sighs, leaning on a shoulder or holding a hand while walking. i love that. to me, it encapsulates everything that gl is about.
but for every relationsihp i've had whre everything went the way it was supposed to, there has probably been at least one where, in my weakness and humanness, i have tainted the process to some degree with my own desires, perpetuating a subconscious agenda to get to a point that i want to reach without taking into full consideration what would make her happiest.
i have been accused before of "sexualizing" a young girl. i'm not even really sure what that term means to most people. how is this different from simply wnating to share physical intimacy? is it only different in perception, or is there a degree whereby people are fairly assessing the situation beyond their entrenched prejudices?
i have no interest in making more mistakes than i have made in my life thus far. and i certainly don't want to see all the wonerful potential of a good gl relationship become damaged in any way that might shorten either its length or quality.
so i ask, what gentleness is required? tenderness and delicacy are necessary, and i know these roads well, but my ambition, much of it still wishing nothing but good, often still obscures my temperance. and the motivation, at the heart, must still be focused on her and her desires. it does no good to be cautious simply to protect myself. then i become the monster that others so often think me to be.
this is the essence of what i am trying to learn, so that the next perfect relationship, perhaps even this one, is more plan than accident: how far can one go before they cross a line? i don't want to cross it, but i might want to cozy up alongside it and make the space next to it my own, to share with a special little friend.