So the other day I was taking the bus around the city. I usually avoid buses for a variety of reasons. This day I also wasn't feeling so great. The weather was not being kind and I just wanted to get home. Suddenly a group of about 60 middle schoolers and three teachers come walking toward me. They are being very loud and boisterous.

A feeling of dread came over me. "Oh, no. Not today:( " Suddenly I am surrounded by wild kids of about age 9-11, one of whom was a very annoying boy who kept screaming things at the top of his lungs 12 inches from my ear. I wanted to grab him by the throat and make the "Shhh!" sign. Instead, I was firing evil glares at the teachers. "You really expect to get 60 kids onto a public bus that's probably already half full?" I said with daggers.

The teachers knew I wasn't happy. I couldn't really even search out the sexy girls, because I had eyes upon me the entire time from both the adults and kids, though I did manage to scope out one who was rather sultry and different, with more of a quiet mature poise about her. She was about 10. It was nice, but it wasn't enough to change my mood.

Further annoying me was one of the teachers who fit a stereotype that I seem to have grown to despise. She was in her 30's with dreadlocks, and trying to be same age "pals" with the kids. It really bugged me. She started talking about her gypsy travels in Europe to some young boys, which I tried to tune out until she started casually talking to them about some statue of a bull, and kept speaking about its bull testicles to them.

An internal rage seemed to come over me. I'd say 20 percent of it was due to her not being a properly behaved teacher (my old age kicking in, or just changes in my life views), but the other 80 percent of my temper was from imagining what would happen to a MALE teacher if he started talking to little girls about genitalia? Ugh! Feminism. I'm sorry, I used to defend it, but it's gone too far.

Between the noise and edgey-progressive little miss moldie locks being free to behave however the wind blew her fancy, I had simply had enough. I literally semi-shoved my way to the front spot for getting on the bus, while one of the teachers realized I was kinda pissed off and told them to let the angry old guy on first. Okay, she didn't say it like that, but I know that's what she was thinking. I wanted to yell at her to hire a school bus next time.

So I get a free double seat, and I see elderly people who look horrified at what is about to assail them. The all pile in making lots of noise. I did manage to have a girl decide to sit next to me, but she was not one of the sexy ones. She was a little large and unfeminine and had no timidity (timidness?) about sitting next to a scowling adult man. Good for her, I suppose.

To make matters worse, three fat adults got on at the next stop, and I was getting smushed into my window by the large girl. I STILL couldn't see the sexy girls, as they were all behind me or on the other side behind the crowd of standing passengers. Only one of the teachers was in my line of sight. "It's not a fucking school bus!" I yelled at her with my contemptuous stare.

Eventually, they all got off the bus, as did I, and I walked in the opposite direction thinking how different it is to have a few cute playful girls around me, compared to 60 screaming savages.

Not the same experience! At least not for me.